Rules of negotiations. “Difficult” types of listeners. a review of the needs of all parties is made, which ties together all controversial issues

The main problem with proper negotiation is that most people do not understand the term correctly. Many would answer that this word describes the successful closing of a deal at the end of a business conversation.

Negotiate comes from the Latin negotiatus, the past participle of negotiari, which means to conduct business. This initial meaning is critical to understanding the negotiation process, so that you don't just have to negotiate a deal that's good for you. Their goal is to continue cooperation with your business partners. Because, of course, it is always possible to come to an agreement, but sometimes the methods used lead to the fact that they are unlikely to want to continue cooperation with you.

Grant Cardon, an international sales expert, New York Times bestselling author of 5 books, shares his successful negotiation experience and offers 3 golden rules that will help not only negotiate a profitable deal, but also strengthen further cooperation with partners.

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1. Be the first to negotiate

Always try to be the first to initiate the negotiation process, since whoever controls the beginning most often controls the end. If you allow the other party to negotiate, you will give control into their hands and, most likely, will not even notice how it happened. For example, when you ask someone what their allocated budget is, you are giving them the power to negotiate. You'll end up spending your time chasing amounts instead of finding the best solution.

When Grant sits down for a negotiation that will include the topic of money, he sometimes even interrupts the other party in order to prevent them from taking over the situation and directing the conversation in the direction they want. This sounds strange, but it is a very important point. It is you who should initiate such a deal.

One day, he had a client who wanted to offer his terms in advance. To which Grant replied that he appreciated his willingness to immediately tell what exactly he could do, but he would be grateful to him if he would give him the opportunity to also show the prepared information. And after that he should inform you if such conditions do not suit him. This allowed Grant to take control of the process into his own hands.

2. Always keep negotiations in writing.

Grant knows many sellers who have sat down to negotiate terms and deadlines without a written agreement. But the purpose of negotiations is to achieve a written agreement, and not to waste time on empty talk. From the moment the proposal is voiced, the client must have a document in front of him that includes all the clauses of the agreement. It becomes a reality for the intended client.

If you negotiate first and only sit down to put the agreement in writing at the end, you will waste extra time. If you make changes during negotiations to an already drawn up agreement, you can offer the finished document for signature immediately after you come to a general agreement.

3. Always stay calm

During negotiations, the atmosphere can be filled with a huge number of different emotions that replace each other depending on the situation. Experienced negotiators know how to keep a cool head, thereby managing the situation and offering various reasonable solutions, while other participants can be immersed in their turbulent and often unhelpful emotions, which only hinder progress. Crying, aggression, anger, and raised voices will certainly help you let off steam and feel better, but they will in no way lead you to a successful conclusion of the negotiations.

When things get heated and everyone is getting emotional, stay calm and use logic to come up with a reasonable solution to the situation.

These were the tips from Grant Cardona. Well, we want to remind you of a few more human rules of good manners - respect your partner and do not try to deceive him. Mutual respect is very important, since falsehood is immediately felt. The deal must be beneficial for both parties, otherwise it is no longer negotiation, but coercion.

Negotiations are a duel. Negotiations are a struggle without weapons. Negotiations are an elegant fencing with words and arguments. The financial position, income and future of the company often depend on their outcome. How to learn how to negotiate correctly, use psychological techniques and business techniques - read in the new article on our blog.

• to push through your decision;
• to get benefits and goodies from partners or investors;
• to justify yourself before those in power;
• to find a compromise.

We warn you in advance: we are only talking about those negotiations in which both sides have different opinions and are to some extent rivals. Otherwise, it will just be friendly get-togethers.

What are negotiations like?

There are basically two main types: competitive and affiliate.

1. Competitive negotiations - the parties are aimed at winning, everyone wants to remain a winner and make a profit (good conditions, guarantees, agreements). In this case, the compromise is considered a “draw” and is not particularly needed.
2. Partnership - both parties are friendly and agree to compromise. They are ready to sacrifice small benefits in order to ultimately reach a peaceful agreement.

Negotiation styles are also divided:

• authoritarian - clear, daring, sharp as a bullet. This is how bosses often communicate with subordinates, and stronger partners with outsiders;
• democratic - participants communicate on equal terms, like partners;
• informal is more of an informal conversation without strict regulations.

Depending on what underlies the subject of negotiations, the conversation style will be chosen. If you need money for construction or a startup, most likely the contracts will be partnership ones. The tax office came to the individual entrepreneur with an inspection - perhaps the authorities will behave authoritarianly. Two dudes from competing organizations met, liked each other, grabbed a beer - and an informal conversation began. Most often, styles are mixed, and here it is up to you to choose which one is more appropriate and effective.

Stages of negotiations

Stage 1. Preparation

1. Select the date and location of the negotiations. Psychologists say that it is better to meet in the first half of the day - when your interlocutor, and you yourself, have not yet had time to load your head with current affairs. The location is also very important - the outcome of the negotiations may depend on what territory you will meet on. It is known that houses and walls help - if possible, try to hold important meetings in your office. And if there is no office yet - in a place where you feel most comfortable (favorite cafe, lobby, etc.)
2. Get mentally ready: calm down, concentrate, grow your zen to your knees or below. Let nothing be able to unsettle you. If on the eve of the appointed date an unpleasant event occurred for you (failure, breakup, death), reschedule the meeting.
3. Write down the main ideas and thoughts that you are going to convey to your interlocutor. Work through possible objections and think about how to respond to them. Model different situations, different channels in which negotiations can go, and options for different outcomes.

Stage 2. Monologues and sentences

At this stage, everything usually goes smoothly: the parties to the negotiations position their opinions and intentions. Here it is important to present your arguments as clearly as possible, without slipping into unnecessary reasoning and saving the interlocutor’s time. Then comes the time for the most important thing - voice your proposal, supporting it with arguments. Then, in turn, listen carefully to the other. It is better to write down the key points to discuss at the next stage.

For example, you came to negotiate so that the rent for your office space does not increase. Tell us why this is so - the average price on the market is n rubles, but you offer a higher price.

Stage 3. Discussion and bargaining

The most difficult and intense stage of negotiations, where spears break, collapse, or, conversely, hopes and prospects appear. It can drag on for half a day, especially if the goals and objectives of the parties are radically opposite. Or if we are talking about big money. If you are conducting competitive negotiations, try to make as few concessions as possible and inform your interlocutor about your plans. Remember that anything said can be used against you.

We continue to talk about reducing rents. When discussing, don’t just ask to reduce the price - offer something profitable in return. For example, pay with part of your products, or make repairs to the premises. If you reduce the fee, we will do the repairs - this is what your words should sound like.

In partner negotiations, everything is simpler: both interlocutors are aimed at a compromise - accordingly, it will be easier to find one. It is also unprofitable for the landlord to lose a tenant - it is not known when another one will be found, so there is a high chance that he will make concessions to you. Conflicts during partnership negotiations are practically impossible - the conversation proceeds in a peaceful direction. You are discussing, not pushing, everyone’s position.

Stage 4. Decision making.

It is finally decided how the negotiations will end. May lead to compromise or breakup. The ideal option is to sign an agreement. Verbal promises are also a good thing, but it is better to consolidate the meeting on a documentary level.

After negotiations, we advise you to contact your interlocutor again. If the meeting was successful, thank and outline the main points and agreements. This is necessary to make sure that you have understood everything correctly.

If the negotiations fail, write anyway and thank them. Express the hope that this is not your last meeting, and next time the dialogue may proceed in a more positive manner.

Rules of Negotiation

1. Set realistic goals. Let's say you have a startup and you are meeting with a potential investor. Don't expect to get a million dollars - who will give you that much? Assess your investor's capital, guess how much he will be able to invest (if at all) in your business. Set a maximum goal of getting a million rubles. And the minimum task - if he gives 500 thousand, that will be enough. But still better than nothing.

2. At the same time, always ask for more. An old trick: if you want to ask your boss for a salary increase of 10 thousand, feel free to ask for 20, and he will breathe a sigh of relief and agree to exactly those 10. The same is true in negotiations: ask for more than the maximum, and perhaps you will get that same maximum.

3. Start with easy topics - this is what psychologists advise. It will be easier for your interlocutor to agree with you, and the situation will be defused. If you feel mutual affection, great. Thousands of transactions were made thanks to spontaneous personal sympathy. And then move on to the most important thing - the main subject of conversation.

4. Don't get carried away by the authoritarian style. Even if you are the boss and your interlocutor is an inexperienced subordinate, maintain democratic communication. First of all, it's popular now. Secondly, this way you will not turn your partner against you (we remember that one won battle is not yet a won war? And if you managed to win these negotiations, it is unknown what will happen next. Therefore, it is better not to spoil relations with partners and competitors ).

5. Study your interlocutor. Read an interview with him, find mutual friends, use word of mouth to the fullest. Identify his strengths and weaknesses, analyze his financial situation. Find out his needs: maybe he has been building houses all his life, and before retirement he wants to release a memoir or invest in a young creative brand. Play on these feelings, offer exactly what he wants.

6. Use precise numbers. It doesn't matter what the topic of negotiations is. Whether you are looking for a partner, agreeing on joint cooperation or trying to find a sponsor, always provide accurate information. Business people do not like approximate calculations; they want to understand how much money they will have to spend and when they will pay back. All. Believe me, you and your interests are of little importance to anyone, the main thing is money. As they say, nothing personal - just business.

For example, you came up with a startup and are looking for a sponsor. Don’t say, “Well, I think the idea should roughly pay off in about six months.” What a kindergarten! Bring a business plan with you and clearly, in detail, describe all investments: yours and the investor’s, expectations for payback, expected profit and margin.

7. Ask questions. Negotiations are a thing where every word matters. If you and your interlocutor work in different fields, are of different ages or mentalities, you may misunderstand each other. Therefore, listen carefully and ask guiding questions:

• “Tell me more about this”;
• “What do you think about this?”;
• “What would you like to hear from me?”

Ask again. If something is unclear, do not be afraid to ask: this way there will be no false illusions and expectations. Maybe your interlocutor was joking or you were wishful thinking.

Example:

• Yes, of course, we will work together. Some day.
• Please let us know when we start work.

8. Record and document. This will be useful to ensure that there is no ambiguity. Insist on drawing up an agreement - involve a lawyer and carefully study each of its clauses.

9. Never make excuses - do not show your interlocutor that you are weaker than him. Even if it's true. Even if you are not the one dictating the terms and are in an unequal position. Even if your interlocutor communicates in an authoritarian style. And if you have to explain something - for example, why exactly your startup deserves investment - behave with restraint, with dignity, and don’t fuss. You are an equal partner, not a whipping boy.

Example:

• Well, come on, tell me what you have there.
• I have a business there that will bring you millions if you listen to me carefully now.

10. Avoid conflict. Suppose the interlocutor adheres to a tough style and provokes conflict in every possible way. Don’t give him this joy: direct the conversation in a constructive direction.

Example:

• What are you telling me here? It’s too small to argue with elders.
• Please explain what you mean. I'm not arguing, but giving you reasonable arguments.

11. Take a time out. If the conversation is difficult, disagreements arise, it is better to go for a smoke break or drink a cup of coffee. By doing this you will defuse the atmosphere, and at the same time you will think about how to build a dialogue further.

12. Don't be intrusive. Give the person the right to think. Remember that he is also afraid of risks, afraid of losing investments. If you followed all our rules and were precise and convincing, rest assured that the interlocutor heard you. Just give him time - he will make some decision sooner or later.

13. And most importantly, keep your promises. If you promised to make a million in six months/bring the business to break even/hire an employee in a month—do it.

The main mistakes in negotiations

1. You are nervous and fidgety. The enemy feels like he’s winning—and that’s how it is.
2. You don’t set a goal - you don’t know what you want to achieve as a result of the negotiations.
3. You don’t know anything about your interlocutor - it’s the same as not studying your target audience.
4. You are provoking conflict. The times of the 90s are long gone, now even disagreements are resolved in a civilized manner.
5. You are bored and want to finish quickly - then why did you even come?

Our advice: use not only numbers and facts, but also knowledge of psychology. Tune in to your interlocutor, study him - and the chances of a successful result will increase significantly. And remember: forewarned is forearmed!

Negotiations are almost any process of reaching agreements. What is important to consider when planning, preparing and conducting negotiations? What do you need to be prepared for?

So, when planning, it is important to take into account the place, time, and duration of the negotiation process. In preparation - the agenda, composition of participants, their status and comfortable conditions. When conducting negotiations, the most important thing is the strength of the negotiating position, behavioral characteristics and style of the negotiation process.

What is negotiation?

From the point of view of transactional analysis, the ability to negotiate is available only in the “adult-adult” position. The adult position of one of the parties in the negotiations should ultimately lead the opposite party to an adult state from the position of “child” or “parent” (manipulation or pressure comes from these positions). Adult behavior helps to resist manipulation. Whims cannot last long, since the “child” has a limited resource of patience. And the dictates of the “parent” are generally inappropriate in the negotiation process.

Negotiation process

The negotiation process leads to results if there is a clearly defined goal and criteria for achieving it.

The negotiation process leads to results if there is a clearly defined goal and criteria for achieving it. If they are absent, you will most likely have to agree to the terms of the opposite party. Having a plan A and B, if something goes wrong, will allow you to defend at least a minimally acceptable position. This gives confidence, the absence of which is read by the other side and is costly. The script and the distribution of roles also add weight, confidence and dynamism to the negotiation process and the team. It is important to distribute functionality. Even if one person is conducting the negotiations, it is necessary to take into account the content, record the main points on paper, monitor the interaction of the team on the other side of the negotiating table, and even read the bodily and emotional markers that sometimes say much more than words.

Negotiation table

It is important to know the location of the negotiations in order to arrive in advance and “mark the territory.” I would like to supplement the scenario with a seating chart for the participants. This is the so-called psychogeography. Experienced negotiators try to take the most advantageous position at the table even before the start of negotiations, if this is not initially determined by the protocol. Leadership on this issue gives an initial advantage and adds confidence.

Status of negotiations

When planning and preparing negotiations, it is important to clarify and agree on the statuses of the parties’ representatives.

When planning and preparing negotiations, it is important to clarify and agree on the statuses of the parties’ representatives. If a deputy or an employee of a lower level of the hierarchy is sent to negotiate with the first person, then this is an initially disequilibrium state, and either the negotiations will be of an intermediate nature, or this is a completely different scenario. It will not be possible to reach an agreement if the other side does not have sufficient authority. The higher the status of the negotiations, the more formalities there are: nameplates for seating, regulations, keeping minutes and signing a contract or letter of intent. Interestingly, the coincidence of statuses once again confirms that only equals can agree. Otherwise, it is simply a broadcast of someone else's position. See example #1.

Negotiating Power

Strength in this case is a figurative expression. In fact, with a strong negotiating position, the opposite party agrees to the offer on the most favorable terms for itself. Although there are situations when the strength of a negotiating position lies in the ability to get up and leave the negotiating table at any time. For example, in case of an unacceptable offer or violation of business ethics. See example #2.

Features of behavior

Negotiation is all about communication, and everyone is different.

Knowledge of personality typology and other psychological knowledge is, of course, very useful. However, it is important to understand that negotiation is primarily about communication, and everyone is different. For example, people say “yes” and “no” differently.

In Itzhak Adizes' PAEI model, there are four leadership roles: results producer (P), administrator (A), entrepreneur (E) and integrator (I). They all express their agreement and disagreement in different ways, although they use the same words and sounds. Knowing these features helps achieve mutual understanding.

Attitude to time

The factor of both chronometric time and its derivatives in the form of speed of presentation or time pressure is very important. As soon as you start to be rushed to make a decision, take a break. Firstly, it will be an informed decision. And secondly, you will check how manipulative the opposite side of the negotiations behaves. Looking at the table below, you will probably remember examples from your negotiation experience.

How to get in touch?

The skill of establishing and maintaining the required level of contact leads to the most essential factor for the effectiveness and efficiency of negotiations - trust, the flip side of which is responsibility. Previously, in Russia there was such a concept: “a merchant’s word.” And it was enough to shake hands as a sign of reaching agreement without any agreements on paper. Taking into account the above factors in the “Clarity - Motivation - Responsibility” model, technological negotiations, like any business communication, follow an algorithm for achieving the necessary and sufficient clarity. Once there is clarity, motivation almost automatically arises, which leads to the distribution of responsibility between the negotiating parties.

The role of emotions in negotiations

During negotiations, someone tries to hide their emotions or put on a show. The range is quite large, but emotional intelligence skills are the basis for success in negotiations.

Emotions are a more ancient mechanism for regulating life activity than thoughts.

The ability to recognize one’s own and read other people’s emotions, analyze the reasons for their occurrence, and consciously transform emerging emotions into the most appropriate ones at the moment helps to manage oneself and others. Emotions are a more ancient mechanism for regulating life activity than thoughts. Speech appeared evolutionarily much later. In almost all cultures, the basic emotions of joy, anger, surprise, fear, and disgust are expressed almost identically. An experienced negotiator manages his emotions and monitors the expression of emotions of others. Emotions can confirm words, or they can express something different from the meaning of what the interlocutor is saying. This is rich material for developing negotiation strategies and tactics. See example #3.

Cross-cultural features

In the case of negotiations with foreigners, representatives of other cultures and religions, it is very important to take into account the peculiarities of their mentality as much as possible and invite a professional translator. There can be quite a large number of scenarios. And it’s better to think through them in advance, since each culture has its own attitude to the parameters listed above. This will increase the efficiency of negotiations and help achieve the best result.See. example No. 4.

Negotiation philosophy

Those who believe that negotiations are similar to military operations need to remember that we need living partners and clients. In the long term, it is mutually beneficial agreements that ensure cooperation, and adults are able to renegotiate rather than take military action if something goes wrong. Often in a confrontation it is generally impossible to find a solution and come to an agreement. In this case, the only solution is a compromise, that is, neither side fully achieves its goals as a result of negotiations. In the plane of confrontation, there are no mutually beneficial solutions; they must be sought to achieve consensus, that is, for a “win-win” position, it is important to get out of the situation of a direct conflict of interests and search for acceptable and consistent conditions, to look at the situation “from a bird’s eye view.”

EXAMPLES

Example No. 1

My colleague and I came to negotiations at the organization. The head of the purchasing department meets us and informs us that the general director will not be there today, and their position cannot be revised under any circumstances. I note that this is an "interesting" position to discuss initiating collaboration. Nevertheless, we sit down and begin negotiations. We are testing the waters to find a solution. The opposite side does not take a single step forward. At this moment, a man with a confident look looks into the meeting room and asks how things are going. The purchasing manager responds by saying, “We are finalizing now, and they agree to accept all of our terms.” He sees the surprise on our faces, and then his eyes fall on the business school badge on the lapel of my jacket. He breaks into a smile and sits down next to me. It turns out that we are from the same alma mater, and he graduated several years before me. Over coffee, we find mutual friends and discuss which teachers taught which courses. Then he asks me why we came. I will briefly state the essence of the matter. In five minutes we find a solution that only CEOs could make. Since then, I always try to find out the composition of the negotiating team of the organization where I am going to a business meeting. I look for information about them and sometimes use it to establish contact and increase trust. Much can be found even on social networks and the Internet. Information about professional experience, education and hobbies can be extremely useful. And the head of the procurement department in that organization had recently been appointed to this position and tried very hard to conduct negotiations “correctly”.

Example No. 2

Business reputation, especially in the field of providing complex intellectual services, is more valuable than any money. The head of the personnel service discusses the terms of the provision of corporate coaching services during negotiations. Insists on informing him of all the details and content of the coaches’ work with his colleagues - heads of departments of the organization. I patiently explain that in this case, the main tenet of coaching - confidentiality - will be violated. I inform you that in this case I am forced to fundamentally refuse to conclude an agreement and a large-scale project. After some arguing we find a solution. The subjects of coaching in the organization will themselves write reports to the HR manager, at their discretion, disclosing the details of what is happening in the coaching interaction. Coaches will only send reports with the topic of each coaching session, as the session cycle is aimed at increasing the productivity of managers based on individual development plans. The work plan is initially specified in the annex to the contract, and the coach, in case of deviation, only reports this fact. This decision suits all parties: the manager, his colleagues and coaches.

Example No. 3

Representatives of an industry leader from Germany came to us to negotiate cooperation, in fact, a takeover. Their position is understandable and infuriates the owner of the organization in which I am responsible for protocol negotiations as development director. The two owners see each other for the first time, and upon meeting ours says to the German in Russian: “Now I will show you Stalingrad!” There is ringing silence for several seconds; neither the German’s face nor his body reacts. Only the pupils dilated. The foreign team stands silently. The German, swallowing, answers in Russian: “Show me!” Our negotiations lasted for several days, and the team from Germany showed high professionalism and the highest class of negotiations. I especially liked their system of symbols and teamwork in conveying words to each other, depending on the area of ​​expertise and functionality. Everything is clear and to the point. And in the restaurant they behaved quite lively, and it was interesting to talk to them about topics outside of business. So another question is who showed what to whom.

Example No. 4

The owners of the industry's largest manufacturer from Italy were invited to the retail network to launch a new line of business. Father and son arrived. First time in Russia. The eldest is over 70, the son is 35-40 years old. Dressed very modestly. We met them at the airport in the VIP lounge, brought them to our flagship store and then went to a restaurant to meet with the owner of the retail chain. The restaurant is pretentious; sturgeons swim along the canals between the tables. The owner's partner invited prostitutes to our table. They talk about everything except the purpose of the visit of industry leaders. They sit there like they've swallowed a stake. They are silent, don’t drink vodka, and hardly eat. An hour later, the older Italian began to nod off, and the son said: “Take us to the hotel. We need to pray, and we are used to getting up at 5 am and going to bed at 9 pm.” It's already midnight, and we've been sitting in the restaurant for more than two hours. The only thing I learned from my son during this time was that he goes to church every morning to pray and that they have a factory in some mountain village. He has a lot of children, and he idolizes his wife. In the morning they are cheerful, but again they are silent. Negotiations began, and it turns out that the father does not understand English or French at all, and the son does not know business vocabulary. Although we talked a little about everyday topics along the way. The result was a conversation between a blind person and a deaf person. An Italian translator was urgently called. We kind of agreed on everything. But things didn’t work out afterwards. And before the flight, my Italian son asked me: “Why did you invite prostitutes to the negotiations?”

The tone of the conversation should be smooth and natural, but not pedantic and playful, that is, you need to be learned, but not pedantic, cheerful, but not making noise, polite, but not exaggerating politeness. In the “world” they talk about everything, but don’t delve into anything. All serious polemics should be avoided in conversations, especially in conversations about politics and religion.

Being able to listen is the same necessary condition for a polite and well-mannered person as being able to speak, and if you want to be listened to, you need to listen to others yourself, or at least pretend that you are listening.

In society, you should not start talking about yourself until specifically asked, since only very close friends (and even then hardly) can be interested in the personal affairs of anyone.

The course of negotiations fits into the following scheme: beginning of a conversation - exchange of information - argumentation and counter-argumentation - development and decision-making - completion of negotiations.

The first stage of the negotiation process can be an introductory meeting (conversation), during which the subject of negotiations is clarified, organizational issues are resolved, or a meeting of experts that precedes negotiations with the participation of leaders and members of delegations. The success of negotiations as a whole largely depends on the results of such preliminary contacts.

Six basic rules for establishing relations between partners in preliminary negotiations and recommendations for their implementation, offered by American experts, deserve attention. These rules, by the way, retain their significance during negotiations.

1. Rationality. It is necessary to behave with restraint. Uncontrolled emotions negatively affect the negotiation process and the ability to make reasonable decisions.

2. Understanding. Inattention to the partner's point of view limits the possibility of developing mutually acceptable solutions.

3. Communication. If your partners do not show much interest, still try to consult with them. This will help maintain and improve relationships.

4. Credibility. False information weakens the strength of argumentation and also adversely affects reputation.

5. Avoid a mentoring tone. It is unacceptable to lecture your partner. The main method is persuasion.

6. Acceptance. Try to accept the other side and be open to learning something new from your partner.

The most optimal days for negotiations are Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. The most favorable time of the day is half an hour to an hour after lunch, when thoughts about food do not distract from solving business issues. A favorable environment for negotiations can be created, depending on the circumstances, in your office, a partner’s representative office or on a neutral territory (conference room, hotel room suitable for negotiations, restaurant hall, etc.).

The success of negotiations is largely determined by the ability to ask questions and receive comprehensive answers to them. Questions are used to control the progress of negotiations and clarify the opponent's point of view. Asking the right questions helps you make the decision you want. Successful business conversations and negotiations largely depend on partners’ compliance with such ethical standards and principles as accuracy, honesty, correctness and tact, the ability to listen (attention to other people’s opinions), and specificity.

Accuracy. One of the most important ethical standards inherent in a business person. The terms of the agreement must be observed to the minute. Any delay indicates your unreliability in business.

Honesty. It includes not only fidelity to accepted obligations, but also openness in communication with a partner, direct business answers to his questions.

Correctness and tact. Does not exclude persistence and energy in negotiations while maintaining correctness. Factors that interfere with the flow of the conversation should be avoided: irritation, mutual attacks, incorrect statements, etc.

The ability to listen. Listen carefully and with concentration. Don't interrupt the speaker.

Specificity. The conversation should be specific, not abstract, and include facts, figures and necessary details. Concepts and categories must be agreed upon and understandable to partners. The speech must be supported by diagrams and documents.

And lastly, a negative outcome of a business conversation or negotiation is not a reason for harshness or coldness at the end of the negotiation process. The farewell should be such that, with a view to the future, it allows you to maintain contact and business ties. The results of negotiations are influenced by many factors: perceptions, emotions, positions of different parties, and others. To resolve various disputes, it is very important to clarify the way of thinking, the thinking of opponents, which greatly contributes to successful negotiations. An important point in negotiations are also emotions that need to be suppressed using the so-called “letting off steam” method, which allows you to free yourself from feelings of anger and fear that arise in disputes. In addition, apologies, expressions of regret, handshakes, and inexpensive gifts relieve a hostile situation.

Objective criteria must be legal and practical, regardless of the wishes of the parties.

The key factor on which tactics depend is self-esteem. If it is stable and sustainable, then the person will try to negotiate constructively and mutually beneficial. If a person feels insecure, then he will “get on the defensive” and be afraid of losing. If she is unreasonably tall, she will try to compete and “pull the blanket” over herself. In these two cases, the person himself behaves destructively. But in both cases, he believes that the problem lies with the negotiating partner. A kind of “blind spot” principle occurs when a person is able to understand and notice everything, except for the reason that creates problems in negotiations.

Adequate self-esteem is developed by surrounding yourself with a large number of people who can and want to tell you the truth about yourself. They are not employees of your company, not managers or colleagues, but your friends and comrades with whom you are on good terms. If you are adequate in your self-esteem, then you are adequate both in negotiations with partners and in personal communication.

What to think about in advance

Negotiation styles can be roughly divided into two types: emotional and rational. When going to a meeting, think about how your partner prefers to behave.

If his communication style can be called rational, one should focus on measurable indicators of negotiations and, at the beginning, rely on what is easier to calculate. And only then move on to what is more difficult to measure.

If he uses an emotional communication style, then you should focus on the emotional background of the negotiations. What arguments are needed to convince someone who is close to you that you are right? Almost none. What if he hates you? Also none - it’s unlikely that anything will help here. It is important to take small steps to make negotiations simple and enjoyable for your partner.

It is necessary to prepare in advance for different options for the behavior of a negotiating partner. If he uses attack tactics, then it is necessary to think about how to respond to aggressive and not always adequate reproaches, claims and restrictions. If he defends himself, we need to think about what arguments can be used to “pull” the partner out of the state of waiting for action only on our part.

It is always better to negotiate alone. There is no one to rely on, you count on
you're only preparing for yourself
to the maximum

Here it is important to act “by the method of gradual approximation”: to record minimal joint actions as an approach to the common result. This could be an agreement on the duration of negotiations, a list of issues to be discussed, and their order.

The more information you collect about your partner in advance, the better. But it is important not to show your interest before negotiations have begun. Moreover, try to hide your awareness as much as possible.

If you have gathered information (yes, speculative information) about your partner's interests and negotiating style, then you can probably determine which aspects of the deal the partner would like to initially hide from you. Or perhaps he is generally deceiving or being deceived regarding some facts and processes.

Under no circumstances should you catch your partner making inaccuracies or “show off” your knowledge. After all, if he wants to hide something, and you “bring it out into the light of day,” then you will not only complicate this negotiation process for yourself, but will also ruin the relationship for a long time. People are able to forgive many mistakes, but never the fact that someone is smarter, more literate or more informed than them.

Regulations

At the beginning of negotiations, it is necessary to decide on the rules, topic and time. Most people try to determine the time first. And then it turns out that they didn’t have time to discuss “both this and that” issues. The rush begins. And behind it is inattention to the words, position and proposals of the partner. Therefore, it is important to maintain consistency.

The duration of negotiations can vary depending on how many issues you discuss: from one question for forty minutes to one and a half hours for 3–5 questions. There is no point in spending more time on one round. At the end of the agreed period, you must be ready to record some result.

It is better to schedule the next appointment for another day. People get tired of each other too, even if they are friends. And in negotiations, people work together to overcome differences and conflict areas. The exception is negotiations on business trips. Then you have to conduct several rounds with breaks. Then I advise you to physically change the location of the negotiations.

List of participants

It is always better to negotiate alone: ​​there is no one to rely on, you rely only on yourself and prepare to the maximum. At the same time, there are a large number of people who try to negotiate, as they say, “as a team.”

But teams of negotiators need to work hard to ensure that their work is coordinated and effective. Whereas negotiations are usually conducted by a group of employees whose interests often contradict each other. Only chance helps such pseudo-teams avoid causing major losses through their actions. All their contradictions, mutual interference, and inconsistency are visible to a specialist in the first minute. They lose by simply sitting down at the negotiating table. But at first they don't think so.

laugh with laughter, but when planning negotiations with a woman,

I'm trying to collect information - is she married, how is her family life?

Sometimes negotiations require the participation of a specialized specialist. Then you need to agree with him in advance what questions may arise for him. Only the one conducting the negotiations on our side gives him the floor. He does not have the right to directly answer his partner’s questions.

It's best when you are alone, and there are several people opposite you - you can notice contradictions in their positions. In this case, you yourself can always refer to the fact that it may take time to work through the issue under discussion (after all, there are several of them, and you also need to consult), and not make any decision until the next round of negotiations. This excuse is especially useful when you “have nothing to cover.”

The main thing to remember is: if you are one against everyone, you have time, which means you need to plan several rounds of negotiations at once. To do this, it is better to immediately warn that first you would like to study mutual needs and approaches to the problem being solved, and in the next negotiation round you will be ready to discuss possible options for cooperation.

Negotiations with a woman

Women are intuitively more sensitive to where the truth is and where the lies are. But when faced with unreliable information, they are not in a hurry to “attack” or “leave”, as men would do. They are interested in checking their guess. In such a situation, women are more prone to manipulation than men. But if you enter into an open dialogue with them, there will be no manipulation on their part either.

Sometimes there are exceptions to this rule, but rarely. This concerns the fact that women negotiate based on their emotional state. Something is bothering the woman, she may begin to behave emotionally unstable, “bitchy” and even manipulative.

Therefore, laugh with laughter, but when planning negotiations with a woman, try to collect information: is she married, how is her family life going.

It is imperative to take into account that in negotiations with a man, a woman will definitely note her partner’s status. And if he is at the same level or higher, then his positive assessment will be important to her. These can be signs of attention, and basic tact and politeness. Moreover, this applies to both married and single ladies equally.

If a man’s status is lower, then women conduct open negotiations, trying to finish them faster.

Illustration: Natalya Osipova