Psychic reality as an experience and as an activity. Reality is psychic. Three lines of psychological defenses

Human psychic reality

Each person has his own reality. Or rather, mental reality, and the reality of life itself is one: the snow is white, the cup is ceramic, the grass is green, water is a transparent liquid that has no color (in a small volume) and odor... Mental or otherwise called subjective reality, this is what how a person relates to a subject, object or situation. A person himself forms his own inner mental world and it is always subjective. The content of this world will depend on a person’s life experience, experiences, emotions, feelings and, most importantly, the thought process. If he sees everything in the negative, then his inner world is like that. If positive, then the internal mental reality: bright, kind, soft and warm, giving love and receiving love from others. And the world outside of such a person is similar.

There is a good hackneyed aphorism and I really want to return to it: “If you cannot change the situation, change your attitude towards it.” What does it mean? Any problem is just a fait accompli in reality. For example, a cat was run over by a car on the street. In reality - this will be just a fact - one in a million cats died. For an outsider, this will be an event, but not very significant, and just for a couple of minutes, while he passes by and sees this situation, then he will go about his business and will soon forget about it. For a person who knew this neighbor's cat, he will be more worried about this incident. But for the person whose cat it is, the situation will be completely different - this is already a problem, and perhaps even grief for some time. Time and suffering in this situation will be exactly proportional to the person’s inner mental world, attitude towards this subject, object and attitude towards the situation.

In fact, the scale of a person’s problems is exactly proportional to the internal discipline of feelings and emotions. If a person is disciplined and trained not to stress himself out emotionally about a problem—to promote negativity, fears, anxieties, etc.—then the situation is not problematic for him. He considers this situation to be ordinary and simply solves it step by step. Yes, it happened, yes, there are problems that need to be solved, but why make them worse? How a person draws the world in his imagination - supporting, nurturing, feeding with his emotions - this is how it will always be. And no one is able to remake this world except man himself. That is why they say, change your attitude towards the situation, the situation will change. Many will notice that it is easy to say, but not easy to do, to cope with emotions! Friends, everything is within the power of a healthy person who strives for harmony in his soul. But how to do this? There are several recipes here on how to put this into practice.

First you need to understand what world you are arriving in. If the inner world is negative, then a person must first understand that this world is negative. Some people do not know this, that you can think and live differently. Then realize that this world is preventing him from living fully and joyfully. Following this, realize that only he himself can transform it into a positive reality. In order to see the negative inner world in yourself and realize its unconstructiveness, you always need high-quality information or another person (interested - a loved one, a psychologist, etc.). This person or information can contribute to positive metamorphosis. Metaphor: “One marker (person) can change the color of everything around, except one thing - himself! You need another marker for that!”(importance of feedback). And our task, psychologists and psychological literature, is to help people with this. See and get out of this negative world.

I foresee the question, why leave it, you ask? To become happy, so that life pleases and does not poison existence. So that life would be a joy, and not a punishment, a heavy cross and hard labor. With your positive thinking, you help yourself by the fact that on the mental plane, where any future of a person is formed/programmed, you rise to a more positive world. And this is the first step to success - to a joyful life. Joy can and should be cultivated! Only you can do this!

Look at the picture at the beginning of the article, which world is more attractive? Which one for
more familiar to you? Think for a couple of minutes... The mental reality of two people will be noticeably different. For example. Two grandmothers live in identical houses in the village. The houses are ordinary, do not require renovation, everything is clean and worthy of old age. Both live in the house alone (their husbands have gone to another world). Relatives (children and grandchildren) visit periodically from the city. Grandmothers don't need money. Hired neighbors in the village help with the house and garden; someone always wants to earn extra money. With health, everything is also normal at 80 years old (they walk, there are no serious illnesses). What's the difference between grandmothers? Outwardly everything is the same, the reality is the same. But the inner mental world of grandmothers is different. One says that: “I live as if in a crypt, buried alive. No one needs it! Why live?". And the second one says: “I live right in the royal mansion - the house is bright and warm. Everything is. There is health. Wonderful neighbors. And the children and grandchildren are doing well. I still have so much to do in this world. People need me!” And with these words I went to help people, those who are having a hard time, with my kind words, support and friendly face. In what case is a person's life better? The answer is obvious, from a grandmother who lives in positivity, optimism and joy. Who lives for people, and does not expect that everyone owes her.

And the main thing you need to remember is that the physical condition of the body is directly dependent on the inner attitude towards life. A person, cultivating anger, irritation, impatience, hatred, etc., dooms himself to a sick body. Negativity is destructive and destroys everything around. That is why the body cannot withstand such a load; it is destroyed under the influence of negative thoughts, emotions and feelings. The body lives constantly in a stressful state.

And for those who do not yet know how to cultivate happiness in themselves, there is great news. Watch the exercise. It simply and clearly shows how to quickly and easily build a new habit into yourself. *Note: The exercise can be adjusted to suit you, supplemented and enriched with your own experience, this is welcome. This exercise is just a sample.

In his developments, Freud attached significant importance to the phenomenon of “psychic reality,” which reflects and often replaces external, objective reality, but never completely corresponds to the latter. Subsequently, in modern psychology, on the basis of this position, the ideas of “bias of consciousness” and “subjectivity of perception” were formed, although the latter still significantly impoverish the original meaning and content of this phenomenon.

For example, I am sure that my beloved is the most beautiful woman in the world. And this is my mental reality, which my colleagues or friends may not share. But it is unlikely that they will be able to convince me, no matter what rational reasons they give. We encounter a similar situation in clinical practice: we can convince the patient as much as we like that his suffering, his suspicions or his feelings of guilt have no basis - this will be exclusively our point of view, and the patient will feel misunderstood and disappointed, for in his psychic reality everything is exactly as he feels and understands. Therefore, in psychotherapy we always work not with reality, but with the patient’s mental reality, no matter how distorted, frightening or even repulsive it may be.

Psychic protection

Freud first hypothesizes that between external reality and psychic reality there is always some kind of “screen” that performs a protective function, preventing certain thoughts and experiences from reaching the level of consciousness. This thesis was later developed in the works of Freud’s daughter Anna on mental defense and a whole series of works on “defensive perception.” The existence of a protective screen was justified by the fact that external reality in a number of cases makes unbearable demands on the psyche and therefore the latter develops defense systems, some of which are genetically predetermined, and some of which are formed in the process of life and development, that is, they relate to acquired mental formations.

Freud believed that the most important (for psychopathology) form of defense is repression, that is, the transfer of mental contents unacceptable to the individual from the conscious sphere to the unconscious and keeping them there. This form of defense was sometimes defined by the author as a “universal means of avoiding conflict” - unacceptable memories, thoughts, desires or attractions are completely eliminated from consciousness (but they are still present in the psyche).

Other widely known (even at the everyday level) forms of mental defense include:

- rationalization or pseudo-reasonable explanation of one’s actions, desires, complexes and inclinations (for example, a patient who is seriously suffering from loneliness, during numerous sessions, systematically turns to the justification of the same thesis: “Thank God, I don’t have children!”);

- projection, that is, attributing to other people repressed experiences, character traits and one’s own (hidden from oneself, and more often socially unacceptable) intentions or shortcomings (a very self-centered and emotionally cold patient, incapable of experiencing sincere feelings, states: “Most people are selfish, and they don’t care about others at all!”);

- denial - when any information that is alarming or can lead to internal conflict is simply not perceived, they seem to “turn away” from it, “do not trust” it (for example, most heavy smokers believe that the data on malignant tumors among tobacco adherents is many times overestimated) ;

- substitution - is realized mainly by changing the goal of the action and/or the sign of emotion (an eight-year-old child, feeling jealous of his parents who have completely switched their attention to their newborn brother or sister, begins to break his toys, transferring his powerless aggression to them).

Psychic authorities, or topics

The psychological defense system, according to Freud, has a topic, that is, corresponding instances of preservation and functioning of intrapsychic formations and contents, and specific “barriers” separating reality, the unconscious and consciousness.

The first topic developed by Freud included three instances: the Unconscious, the Preconscious and the Consciousness. At the same time, the Preconscious was assigned the role of a kind of “intermediary” between the Unconscious and Consciousness. Freud especially emphasized that the Preconscious is not yet Consciousness, but it is no longer the Unconscious, since between them there is “censorship” (or the “barrier of repression”), the purpose of which is to prevent unconscious thoughts and desires from entering consciousness.

The second topic, in which Freud also identified three instances, is better known - the I, the Super-I and the Id. By It is meant the entire sphere of human drives, including (normally) the drives to life and death that balance each other, sexual drives, etc., as the most primitive components of the psyche. In the Id, everything is chaotically mixed, extremely unstable and subordinated primarily to the “pleasure principle,” which is one of the leading regulators of all mental life, and manifests itself in the desire, on the one hand, to avoid displeasure, and on the other, to receive unlimited pleasure.

But no one can ever fully realize this desire, since the principle of pleasure (It) is opposed by the principle of reality (Super-I - a system of moral norms and prohibitions, formed on the basis of introjection of parental images). It is still, in a way, not mental, but only the mental equivalent of “somatic experiences”, close to the instincts and natural “urges” that we have in common with animals (this is not quite according to Freud, but, as it seems to me, quite understandable) .

I, on the one hand, is the main mental authority that contacts reality and tests the latter, and on the other, it is a kind of “filter” between external conditions and moral attitudes and internal motivations, that is, between the Super-I and the Id. At the same time, the I is dependent on both the first and the second. But unlike the It, the I tries to follow the principle of reality - the requirements and demands of society and the outside world.

The super-ego is the socially mediated I, the highest “judicial” authority in the structure of individual mental life, the bearer of moral norms and standards, that is, the mental structure that in the first topic was designated by Freud as “censorship.” Freud believed that the Super-I is formed simultaneously with the resolution of the Oedipus complex, and its activity, like the activity of the Id, is unconscious. Sometimes the term ego-ideal is used as a synonym for the super-ego, although there are discrepancies here. In later interpretations, the Super-I is usually defined as a structure formed on the basis of identification with parental prohibitions and instructions, and the Self-ideal is defined as an identification that forms in adulthood with a wide circle of people or a reference group, on whose moral norms and values ​​the person is oriented in their behavior, life and activities. For these reasons, the self-ideal is a more mobile structure and can change repeatedly throughout life.

Thus, if we greatly simplify Freud’s concept: each of us has an id that powerfully encourages the personality to satisfy its desires, which is counteracted by the super-ego, and an ego that makes a specific decision (who should be given preference?).

Aggression and sublimation

If the I does something that is pleasing to the It, but not pleasing to the Super-I, then the personality experiences a feeling of guilt. And since the demands of the id and the super-ego are most often incompatible, internal conflicts are almost inevitable. However, their individual strength and significance is determined precisely by the regulatory function of the ego, the strengthening and integration of which is usually aimed at therapeutic intervention.

Suppression and repression of demands It is carried out using the already mentioned defense mechanisms. However, even having moved into the unconscious, forbidden thoughts and desires continue to determine a person’s behavior and periodically “break through” to the conscious level in the form of slips of the tongue, slips of the tongue, dreams, waking fantasies and other symptoms. With insufficient integration of the Self and weakening of defense mechanisms, these repressed experiences “overload” the unconscious, and then anxiety states, depression or other disturbances of mental regulation arise, usually in the form of its return to more primitive levels of response or earlier stages of development of thinking and behavior, which Freud called it "regression". One of the forms of such regressive behavior is auto- (directed at oneself) or hetero- (directed at others) aggression. Another form of “switching” of forbidden drives is “sublimation,” the essence of which is the discharge of sexual impulses through socially approved activities. A type of sublimation is artistic and scientific creativity.

Guilt

The feeling of guilt in Freud's metapsychology is usually associated with a violation of ethical standards of behavior, including thoughts about the possibility of such actions or actions. Thus, the concept of guilt in Freudian psychology is partly analogous to the concept of sin committed against oneself or against the will of one’s superego. Therefore, the individual reaction to what has been done or admitted in thoughts depends on upbringing and what a particular person understands as unlawful or unacceptable.

Let us emphasize once again that it is the Self that establishes the relationship between the personality and the objects of its inclinations and desires. And it was this concept that was the basis for the formation of a separate field of psychology - Ego psychology, the main phenomenology of which is considered the “conscious self” as the leading force of integration of the psyche or, in a narrower sense, what we mean by the concept of self-control and self-esteem of the individual, and also the adequacy of the latter to social norms, requirements and abilities and capabilities of the individual himself.

If we further simplify the ideas about the topic of mental phenomena, we can say that from the point of view of public morality: It is completely cynical and immoral, the I tries to comply with generally accepted norms, and the Super-I represents cultural and ethical prohibitions, religious ideas about duty, a set of written and unwritten laws adopted in society. Moreover, in relation to the Self, the Super-I, like the It, can be just as powerful in inducing certain types of behavior and no less cruel.

The “pressure” of the super-ego, or what is called social, is first detected by the child in the person of the parents, namely in their prohibitions, and then in all other restrictions imposed by culture. Thus, culture is what imposes prohibitions.

Forecasts for the future

With the development of culture, Freud associated a decrease in the importance of drives, including a decrease in sexuality as one of the manifestations of aggressiveness, and he included war among the manifestations of the latter. All these signs regress as culture develops, he believed. Subsequently, the consequences of a decrease in sexually aggressive urges included the emergence of greater freedom in ladies' toilets, a wide flourishing of erotica and pornography, which were interpreted as a natural reaction to a decrease in sexual activity in men, which required an expansion of the range of stimulating stimuli.

All these views, including the reduction of human aggressiveness and, as a consequence, a decrease in the likelihood of wars, were formulated by Freud in the twenties of the last century, against the backdrop of the activities of the League of Nations (the prototype of the modern UN) and pacifist sentiments that spread in society after the First World War . However, subsequently these views were revised many times, mainly from the point of view of strengthening the destructive components in human behavior. In our time, we see how these destructive aspects are realized in the phenomena of international terrorism, local wars, loss of democratic ideals, etc.

“Psychological reality is more real than actual reality.”
The world of mysteries and farces, the theater of existence,
Makeup tests: who is a saint, who is an enemy...
Between the nature of play and the nature of lies
To the right is an abyss, and to the left is a step.
E. Achilova “Couples of an actor before going on stage”

In a sense, he is right - the main thing is to be aware of exactly what sense.
If there is some person about whom you think that he acted badly towards you, betrayed you, then this is what will determine your relationship with this person (or lack thereof). The fact that in reality it was a misunderstanding, an unfortunate misunderstanding or simply misinformation, the fact that in reality no offense may have been caused, will not change anything in your behavior towards this person if you continue to believe that he offended you. Reconciliation is only possible after your psychological reality changes.
We have all seen more than once parents who are unhappy with their children, despite all their (children’s) achievements. Their children remain failures for them (and receive their share of censure and lack of support) because they do not correspond to the psychological reality of success that their parents have. Although in reality they can already achieve much more than in the wildest dreams of their ancestors.
So the mother of her son, a teacher, the author of several books, is still dissatisfied that he did not receive a completed higher education (and she is not interested in his level of self-education, knowledge, social status and earnings).
This is even more true for the relationship of children to their parents. How many of us are in painful psychological dependence on our mothers and fathers, who have long ceased to play a real role in their lives (these people may no longer even exist in the world). Nevertheless, we are afraid to violate their prohibitions (in which we feel cramped), we are afraid of their anger (from which in reality we cannot suffer in any way or can easily defend ourselves) and are completely vulnerable to their criticism and condemnation (even if our values ​​do not match theirs). values ​​have nothing in common).
Psychological reality sometimes controls our lives much more reliably than actual reality.
Anyone who “knows” that friendship between a man and a woman is impossible will obviously lose a friend of the opposite sex, and will not believe those who have such experience (even twenty years).
The reason it is so difficult for people to find a common language is that the psychological reality of one group of people does not coincide with the psychological reality of another group. Anyone who is absolutely sure that Russia is a great country is unlikely to understand the emigrant. Someone for whom swearing is “just words” will not be too comfortable constantly communicating with someone for whom swearing is “dirty curses” that “you have no right to utter in my presence.”
Usually we either do not attach due importance to psychological reality, or, on the contrary, we are absolutely sure that it is real reality (that is, if I think that someone is a scoundrel, then so it is).
Myth is the truth of our psyche, the truth of inner meanings. In order to understand a person (and without this we cannot help him change), we must understand the myths in which he lives and realize their importance for this person.
Source

Today we will talk about such a phenomenon of the human psyche as psychological defense.

What is psychological protection?

This is a system of mechanisms that protect us from negative experiences, mental pain, anxiety and many other negative factors that threaten the integrity of the individual. If it were not for psychological defenses, we would constantly be under severe stress, cry or scream for any reason, throw ourselves at others, commit impulsive acts, etc. - in a word, they would see life in black.

For the first time, the Austrian psychologist, psychiatrist and founder of psychoanalysis, S. Freud, began to study psychological defenses. He interpreted the work of the defense system as a way of resolving the confrontation between unconscious drives and social norms (demands, prohibitions, etc.).

Psychological defense mechanisms are universal: they are inherent in us by nature and represent patterns of behavior or response to a traumatic situation.

Psychological defense does not change reality, events, or people’s characters; in addition, it distorts the perception of reality. In this regard, many problems remain unresolved. What to do? Psychologists advise: to make fear go away, look into its eyes. Let's take it in order.

Three lines of psychological defenses

There are three lines of psychological defense:

• conscious stereotypes (help us exist in society);
• archetypal defenses (protect society, group, collective through the individual);
• unconscious defenses (protect our psyche from wear and tear).

At the same time, these lines form a holistic system that maintains our spiritual balance and helps cope with stress. Let's look at each of the lines in more detail.

Perceived stereotypes

These stereotypes are formed in our minds from early childhood, when we internalize social norms and rules. At first, these are the norms of your family: wash your hands before eating; eat with utensils rather than with your hands; draw in an album, not on a table. After some time, the child learns the norms of other communities: how to behave on the street, at a party, in kindergarten, at school, etc. All this allows us to avoid ostracism, and as a result the society in which we exist accepts us. Thanks to the principles laid down in childhood, we save time on thinking and taking actions, and also increase the likelihood of a favorable resolution of the situation.

For example, we initially learn to respect subordination, speak respectfully with elders, show signs of attention towards them, take their opinions into account, etc. We also understand the boundaries of what is permitted (for example, we learn that in a store you cannot behave at home, etc.).

Archetypal protections

This is a series of behavioral models that help to overcome difficulties and not get confused in extreme situations that arise in the life of a group, community, colleagues, friends, loved ones, etc. It is believed that these protections have been formed over thousands of years, and since the person has remained an element of the community, the protections continue to function. They do not always manifest themselves in our behavior, but only in cases when society is in danger. A person may not even know about the resources of his psyche and the capabilities of his body, and in a stressful situation, in order to save his family, he may commit heroic actions that he would not dare to do in ordinary life. Disaster medicine knows of cases where children, finding themselves in an extreme situation, without hesitation, helped those who were weaker (for example, boys helped pull girls out, gave them their clothes; girls calmed adults who could not pull themselves together). They performed such actions automatically, on a subconscious level: “If your neighbor is feeling bad, you need to help him.”

You can observe subconscious behavior patterns in yourself. For example, your friend quarreled with his parents, and you automatically begin to help him - listen, console, give advice. Many are willing to make self-sacrifice for the well-being of others. And it’s all about the subconscious, which dictates to us a program for protecting a small or large society.

Unconscious defenses

Everyone hears what they want to hear.

The essence of unconscious defense is that our psyche, without distortion, perceives only information that cannot traumatize it. If any fact, event, actions or words of a person threaten our peace of mind, cause anxiety or tension, unconscious defense immediately turns on. As a result, we do not perceive incoming information at all or perceive it in a distorted form. For example, some wives defend their husbands: “He’s not an alcoholic, he just has a stressful job.” Or a sick person says: “I feel better today, I won’t go to the doctor. I’m not sick, why are you all bothering me?” This is how the denial mechanism works: “You are all wrong, everything is fine with me/we!” As a result, a person artificially restores his mental balance, protects himself from fears, and reduces internal tension. Unfortunately, this trick of consciousness helps only for a while. An alcoholic remains an alcoholic, and a sick person does not recover. After some time, mental balance needs to be restored.

Let's consider the forms of unconscious defenses.

■ Escape. In the Paleolithic era, in case of a threat to life, a person defended himself or fled. Today escape has been modified and taken on unconscious forms. For example, if a person has not been able to build trusting relationships with people since childhood, he increasingly withdraws into himself and, as a result, becomes an introvert. Or if a person is not confident in the favorable outcome of any complex matter, he will, under any pretext, refuse to go to organizations, call people or generally make any efforts.

Basic and painful consequence escape is the inability to communicate constructively, ask for help, make suggestions or make comments if something does not satisfy. For example, fear of offending, fear of putting oneself in an unfavorable light lead to vague wording or replacement of requests. As a result, the person does not resolve his issue, wastes time and experiences personal discomfort because “nothing worked out again.”

For example, an employee returns from vacation and sees a mountain of other people’s papers on her desk. She is ashamed to ask the culprit to clean up after himself, so she does it herself. As a result, the problem is not solved, and the situation repeats itself after each vacation.

Sometimes escape manifests itself in the form of withdrawal into a specific activity (not to be confused with a hobby). In a situation of escape, a person is so carried away by his favorite activity that he directs all his mental and mental strength only to it. This activity saves him from unrequited love, from self-doubt, helps him forget about problems and personal shortcomings. Of course, such a person can demonstrate outstanding results in his field, but he will not be able to make friends or friends, because his personality has developed disharmoniously all this time.

■ Negation characterized by selective attention: “My house is on the edge, I don’t know anything.”

Selectivity helps us ignore the things that make us anxious and increase the intensity of the conflict. Denial is often the first reaction to irreversible events - illness, death. Denial can also be seen in family relationships: for many it is easier to close their eyes to a problem than to solve it. For example, a wife does not notice her husband’s alienation and, instead of talking, pretends that everything is fine. As a result, the husband leaves for someone else. Or the parents don’t notice that their son is addicted to drugs. Result: my son has a severe drug addiction. Why is this happening? People simply do not allow themselves to think that this could happen in their family.

In addition, the form of denial can take on the appearance of self-praise. For example, a child performed poorly at a competition, returns home and tells everyone about his victory, and he himself fully believes in this victory, or a lazy worker who creates the appearance of work: he litters his desk with papers (supposedly there is no time to clean), walks along the corridor with documents, stands idle in the reception area, answers the phone in an irritated voice, as if hinting: “I’m so busy, and here you are.” Moreover, he sincerely hopes that he will not be found out.

■ Rationalization. Sometimes it seems to us that it is easier to eat a toad than to admit that we are wrong. And in order not to recognize it, nature came up with a wonderful mechanism - rationalization. This mechanism helps to find explanations for one’s own unseemly behavior. Thanks to rationalization, you can isolate yourself from the “evil world” and feel like a king against the backdrop of people who understand nothing.

For example, a person who does not want to look for a job makes an excuse that there are no worthy offers; a child who eats all the sweets in the house believes that he is still small and can do anything; a boss who bullies his subordinates proves to himself that he is accomplishing a great mission by not allowing his employees to relax.

By the way, the hero of the story “Sakhalin” A.P. Chekhov, having killed his victim, justified his behavior by saying that he was slurping loudly at the table, violating general etiquette.

■ Suppression is expressed in the fact that we can forget some feelings, facts, events and people who brought us pain, suffering or simply some unpleasant emotions at one time. For example, the name of the person who once offended us, or the opening hours of the office where we need to go to resolve an unpleasant issue. In this way, the psyche protects itself, tries to save us from communicating with unpleasant people, protect us from going to unpleasant places, etc.

■ crowding out is also associated with a special mechanism of memory. Repression is similar to suppression, except that the event is not completely forgotten. The most traumatic part is erased from memory.

For example, a friend constantly complains to you that her mother-in-law is cruel to her. When you ask her to give examples, she can't really tell you anything. He remembers that there was a conflict, but for what reason and what served as the starting point, he doesn’t remember.

Remembering more good things than bad is a natural function of the psyche. But especially sensitive people, on the contrary, remember only the bad. This leads to a depressing state, depression, painful memories of traumatic situations: “But he told me this, but he did this. How could he?

■ Substitution is expressed in the form of satisfying an unacceptable desire in another way permitted by society. It can also occur in the form of transfer from one reaction to another. On the one hand, this transfer allows us to solve the problem, and on the other hand, to avoid social censure.

For example, one person is angry with another for something and wants to take revenge on him. Since revenge is condemned by society, a person takes revenge on his enemy with offensive jokes. If he is offended, he immediately asks for an apology, saying that he did not want to offend anyone, it was just a joke.

Therefore, if they constantly make fun of you, you should not blame yourself for being too touchy. Perhaps these people hold a grudge against you, but don't know how to say it.

In office life, hidden hostility can manifest itself in the form of hypercontrol over subordinates. For example, the boss does not like an employee who is very similar to his daughter’s negligent boyfriend. He understands that if he tries to tell someone around him about the reason for his hostility, he will be laughed at. Therefore, the boss finds an artificial reason to throw out his aggression on his subordinate - he begins to control him excessively, finds fault with him, accuses him of not doing anything, etc.

■ Projection. Let’s remember the folklore: “There’s no point in blaming the mirror if your face is crooked,” “Whoever calls you names is called that himself,” “You look at your neighbor with all your eyes, but at yourself with drooping eyelids” (Vietnamese proverb).

The truth of these expressions is undeniable: before you evaluate someone, look at yourself. It’s painful to criticize yourself – it’s easier to take it out on someone else. In psychology, this behavior is called projection. With projection, a person, seeing his own shortcomings, does not want to admit them, but notices them in others. Thus, a person projects his vices and weaknesses onto other people. Agree, how difficult it is to admit to ourselves that we envy someone, and how easy it is to see this envy in another person!

You can project feelings, thoughts and even behavior. Thus, a deceiver thinks that everyone around him is a cheater and wants to deceive him, a greedy person sees those around him as stingy, and someone who needs money will hate people with low incomes.

By the way, projection has not only negative, but also positive manifestations. For example, if it seems to you that everything around you is wonderful and wonderful, this means that you are in harmony with yourself; If you see only friends in your colleagues, this means that you are a kind and sociable person. No wonder they say: “Smile at the world, and the world will smile at you.”

■ Identification is expressed in identifying oneself with a person, in appropriating his personal qualities to oneself, in elevating oneself to his image. Identification can also be expressed in the desire to be like not only one person, but also a group of people. Identification protection is also called social mimicry. Most often, social mimicry manifests itself in adolescents. For example, a schoolboy strives to be like everyone else, tries to merge with his company. If everyone in the company wears expensive jeans, he will beg his parents for them; If it’s common to smoke in a group, he will definitely become addicted to this harmful habit. The desire to be like others creates the illusion of security in a teenager.

Social mimicry also manifests itself in the desire to be like people we fear or depend on. Very often, people who are offended begin to copy the behavior of their offenders. Some people need this identification in order to become as “strong-willed” and “strong,” while others need it in order to take it out on the weaker ones. In psychology, this mechanism is called “identification with aggression.”

■ Alienation is expressed in dividing our “I” into several parts and using them consistently. This process occurs at moments when a person experiences severe physical or mental pain. Let's give the simplest example. A person who has lived in his native land almost all his life suddenly leaves for a foreign land. Undoubtedly, it will be very difficult for him to leave his native land, especially if people dear to him remain there. In a new place, it will seem to him that a piece of his soul remains in his native land.

■ Fear of new things. Have you ever noticed that your loved ones, family and friends seem to be asking for your advice, but in fact they don’t need it? Such people are generally afraid to learn something new, because they need to rebuild, reconsider their views on life, doubt previously acquired knowledge, theories and opinions. Therefore, such people subconsciously protect themselves from advice - they talk a lot themselves and do not let you speak, they complain and do not listen to you (vest search syndrome), they are capricious, protest (they say that you are coming up with inappropriate advice), accuse you of incompetence, promise to follow the advice then, but do not fulfill their promises.

■ Artificial psychostimulants. Alcohol, tobacco, and drugs not only reduce your health to nothing, but also create the illusion of “control” of your psycho-emotional state. They, of course, do not solve the problem that has arisen.

Other unconscious defenses

These include:

• psychosomatic diseases (the occurrence of somatic diseases due to mental trauma);
• passive aggression (tendency to be late everywhere and everywhere, reluctance to do certain work);
• reaction or aggression towards innocent people (sharp jumping up, screaming, hitting the table, aggressive attacks on people for imaginary reasons);
• dissociation (after traumatic situations, the tendency to pretend that nothing happened, reluctance to solve problems, self-withdrawal);
• internalization (refusal to get what you want: “Yes, it hurts me. I’ll get by”);
• regression (return to childhood behavior patterns - whims, hysterics, throwing things, etc.).

The benefits and harms of unconscious defenses

Let's look at the benefits first.

Psychological defenses:

• help preserve the integrity of the individual and protect it from disintegration, especially when there are conflicting desires. It is known that there are many different “I”s in a person (one “I” wants one thing, another – another, a third – a third). Psychological defenses are needed to bring all these “I” together and allow them to “agree”;
• help to resist diseases, believe in one’s strength, reassure that everything will be fine, everything will be restored;
• prevent disorganization of mental activity and behavior. For example, in a moment of sudden stress, disbelief in everything that is happening saves consciousness from destruction;
• protect against negative qualities that a person does not possess, but mistakenly admits to himself. For example, it seems to a person that he is overly demanding of others, although in reality he is not. For the purpose of protection, he may begin to convince himself that overly demanding people are more successful in business, have excellent insight and are demanding of themselves. Thus, defenses save a person from mythical shortcomings and reduce self-blame;
• restore self-esteem, help to accept a painful situation without lowering self-esteem: “Well, so be it. I’m still better than them,” “These people are unworthy of me,” etc.;
• help maintain social approval. For example, a person did something wrong and, knowing this, turns the situation around: “It’s not me who is to blame, but other people/fate/circumstances”, “I’m not like that - life is like that”;
• preserve relationships between people. For example, an employee does not like that his colleague gossips all the time and tries to involve him in conversation. He prefers not to bring the situation to a conflict and, instead of expressing everything, pretends to be uncommunicative.

If we talk about the dangers of psychological defenses, they are:

• do not change the order of things, but only relieve anxiety and inconvenience for a while;
• They distort reality and do not allow us to evaluate it normally. This is especially true when evaluating loved ones. For example, they say that “love is blind.” If a loved one suddenly commits a terrible act, we refuse to believe it, blame ourselves for not immediately understanding what kind of person he is, or rush to defend the offender;
• facts and events are crowded out of consciousness. This temporarily calms, but the fear remains driven into the subconscious and from there affects the person for a long time;
• people are confused. For example, instead of admitting to themselves a hostile attitude towards their child, understanding the causes of this problem and working through it, a parent hides behind overprotection and intrusiveness towards their child, which further complicates the relationship.

Mature unconscious defenses

There are natural unconscious defenses that are harmless and help cope with stress. They are called mature unconscious defenses. These include:

■ cry– a natural and natural protective reaction of a person to stress. Everyone knows that after crying, your soul becomes relatively lighter. It's all about the physiological processes occurring at this moment in the body.

Scientists believe that tears reduce pain, heal small wounds on the skin, and protect the skin from aging. In addition, crying normalizes blood pressure and has an anti-stress effect;

■ dream. Many people need long-term sleep after severe stress to restore mental and physical strength. This is how the compensation mechanism works. So if your loved one is a sleeper, don’t wake him up for no apparent reason, perhaps his body is now busy processing stress;

■ dreams. In the last issue, we talked about how dreams help us cope with the stress accumulated during the day, that dreams simulate situations in which you can prove yourself strong, courageous and decisive, which means you can work through all your stress and overcome your fears. Only this mechanism is connected not in the real, but in the imaginary world. Consequently, the person suffers less and does not have a negative impact on others, unlike, for example, projection or rationalization;

■ sweets, as is known, raise blood glucose levels, and this promotes the production of the joy hormone - endorphin. Therefore, moderate consumption of sweets leads to stress processing. The main thing is not to get carried away and follow the rules of a healthy diet;

■ sublimation– transformation of unwanted, traumatic and negative experiences into various types of constructive and popular activities (sports, creativity, favorite work). The more success a person achieves in his favorite activity, the more stable his psyche becomes;

■ altruism. No wonder they say: “If you feel bad, help someone who is even worse.” In fact, all misfortunes are known by comparison. When we see that another person has it much worse, our own problems seem petty. In addition, any help to someone in need helps us feel needed, and this is the best way to save us from stress;

■ kind and harmless humor . As you know, a well-timed joke defuses the situation and improves relations between interlocutors. Learn to laugh at yourself and your problems. Try to associate your problem with a joke, turn it into a funny story, Look at funny photos, download a good movie. And most importantly, smile more often, because laughter prolongs life.