Co-sleeping with a child: pros and cons. How to teach a child to sleep alone. Co-sleeping of a newborn (infant) with parents

Currently, the idea of ​​sharing a night's sleep between the mother (and sometimes both parents) and the child is very, very popular. Moreover, it is not pediatricians who are actively promoting it, who are extremely distrustful of the benefits co-sleeping. The main supporters of the presence of children in marital beds are breastfeeding specialists and some psychologists... So: is it good or bad for the health and psyche of a child to sleep at night with his parents?

Is “close” parenting the new yoga?

Many (if not all!) fashion trends come into our society from outside. Even such a seemingly closed area of ​​life as parenthood is also last years has undergone a lot of changes under the influence of overseas “trends”. Young mothers now carry their babies on themselves day and night (slings are incredibly popular these days), agree to breastfeed them “at the first squeak,” and also practice co-sleeping - this is when adults and their children sleep in the same bed at night. But is this joint sleep really necessary and useful?

Experts who deal with young children in one way or another - pediatricians, neonatologists, child psychologists, breastfeeding specialists and others - have unwittingly divided into two camps: some actively support the idea of ​​co-sleeping with children, believing that such a lifestyle in infancy is beneficial baby. Others, on the contrary, were wary: how would this shared sleep affect the psyche of a growing child? Isn’t it risky to keep the fragile, vulnerable body of a baby next to you in a dream? Does a baby, whose intrauterine period of development has already successfully completed, really need constant tactile contact with his mother?

Having carefully and meticulously studied all the possible arguments for and against sleeping together, we will voice the most reasonable and significant of them. Having selected a worthy argument “with the opposite sign” for each, so that you yourself can evaluate the pros and cons of sleeping together and make a decision - does your child sleep in a separate crib from birth or in yours?

Arguments for co-sleeping

The child has the opportunity to receive as much breast milk as much as he needs. The very idea of ​​on-demand feeding presupposes constant closeness between mother and her child, without regard to the time of day. That is why co-sleeping is, in fact, a natural extension of this style.

HOWEVER, many modern pediatricians do not support the very idea of ​​feeding on demand. There are often situations directly related to the baby’s health when food restrictions play a positive, one might even say partly therapeutic, role. For example, infant colic, some manifestations of diathesis, colds, or even just a very hot and stuffy climate. In most cases, in such circumstances, the pediatrician recommends temporarily reducing the amount of milk that the baby eats per day to allow the body to cope with the problem. And even if the baby’s health is excellent, constant access to food can weaken him.

For example, in this case, the baby needs water, not food. But, experiencing thirst and uncontrolled access to the breast, the child sometimes eats twice or three times more milk than he needs per day. Such overeating often leads to digestive problems, skin rashes, pain and anxiety.

A child who frequently stimulates the mother’s breasts (including at night) helps to establish good, long-term lactation. It's true - the more often the baby is put to the breast, the more milk his mother will produce. And the longer lactation will last.

HOWEVER, in order to stimulate the establishment of lactation, it is enough for the newborn to smack the mother’s breast (even if it is still empty) for just the first few days after birth. But when the process of milk production has more or less improved, there is no longer any need for the baby to literally “hang” on the chest constantly, day and night. Moreover, frequent breast stimulation, which provokes the mother’s body to produce more and more milk, ultimately leads to the opposite result.

After all, at night, a child who is at his mother’s side does not so much eat milk as simply smack his lips, then falling asleep and then waking up at the breast. It turns out that more than enough milk is produced during the night, but very little is sucked out. What does this mean?

Excess milk will begin to stagnate, and if the mother does not pump regularly, it can lead to lactation mastitis. It’s not for nothing that pediatricians around the world recommend feeding babies only once a night.

Spending night hours in the same bed with parents, the child receives a feeling of security, protection and warmth. Before birth, he felt the constant physical closeness of his mother, and after birth he needs her...

HOWEVER, this does not mean that the baby needs close tactile contact throughout the night. Yes, it's true - if a baby (and especially a newborn) has trouble falling asleep, then with the help you can quickly put him to sleep. But at the same time, it is not at all necessary to put it in your bed at night.

When the birth process is completed, and the child begins his journey in this world as an independent, separate person, priorities change: the baby still needs the mother’s closeness, but now this closeness should be less “physical” in nature, but more intellectual and communicative - the child needs the care, support and warmth of his family, which he now all more degree receives from communication with relatives.

And then, don’t forget that a baby has not only night sleep(which parents, in fairness, need extremely badly!), but also during the day. Who stops a mother from simply lying down in silence, hugging her sleeping baby, in the middle of the day?

Radiate love and joy, communicate with your child, and relax with him during “quiet hours” - believe me, this is more than enough to give the baby a feeling of constant protection, care and comfort, but without putting him under your blanket every night.

Arguments against co-sleeping

Parents have the opportunity to get enough sleep and rest fully. How can you relax and sleep soundly when a tiny, fragile body is pressed against your side? Of course, it is absolutely impossible. And only by transferring the baby to a separate crib, the parent is able to take a comfortable position, forget himself and fall asleep.

HOWEVER, it is undesirable in the first months of a child’s life to sleep with the baby in different rooms. Even if you have a radio or video baby monitor, your presence nearby is necessary - the baby needs to be fed at least once a night (and only after 4-5 months can night feedings be stopped), correct his posture, monitor his well-being, etc. Best option in this case, the use of an additional crib, which leaves each family member his living space untouched, but at the same time allows him to control the condition of the baby.

Parents have the opportunity to be with each other. The status of young parents does not negate the status of a man and woman in love with each other. Who, naturally, from time to time want to enjoy each other’s company in their own bed. Whereas the presence of children in it does not in any way contribute to full-fledged sexual relationships.

HOWEVER, if you passionately desire both - marital sex, and co-sleeping with children, a way out can be found in this situation: you will have to move the “testing ground” for passion and carnal pleasures from the bed (which from now on and for the next few years becomes exclusive sleeping place for the whole family) to some other place.

The child’s body quickly gets used to sleeping peacefully and soundly all night. This fact has been confirmed by child psychologists - children who initially sleep in their own separate crib wean themselves off night feedings much faster and easier. In addition, these children usually settle down faster at an older age, after a year - they do not need to re-read all of Andersen before bed or sing 15 lullabies per evening.

HOWEVER, it's not hopeless. There has not yet been a single case recorded where a child, with age, has not learned to sleep separately from his parents. If you practice co-sleeping, you can console yourself with the thought that in any case, sooner (but most likely late) your child will learn to calmly, quickly and soundly fall asleep at some distance from you.

Children who initially sleep separately from their parents are much less likely to develop the so-called childhood nightmare syndrome in the future. And this is also a scientifically proven fact, which is confirmed by multiple studies. Children who, from the first year of life, sleep in their cribs (and also in their rooms), at 2.5-3 years old do not suffer every night from obsessive thoughts as if a bloodthirsty monster was hiding under the bed. The same cannot be said about children who are initially accustomed to falling asleep not alone, but under reliable protection parents' bedroom - as a rule, such children aged 2-5 years acutely experience a period of night fears and anxieties...

HOWEVER, the problem of nightmares in children does not present any difficulties for modern child psychologists - they are able to help children not be afraid of the onset of twilight.

How to sleep for parents and children: the best option

In order not to go to extremes, you can rely on an approximate diagram that will take into account both the interests of parents and the needs of children:

• 1 From birth to approximately 4-5 months the child can sleep directly next to the mother, but in his own separate cot (or even in a cradle, stroller, etc., where he could comfortably sit while sleeping). This is, first of all, convenient for the mother, who, to feed, will only need to stretch out her arms, take the baby and attach it to her breast.
• 2 After 4-5 months the baby “moves” into the crib. It may well be in the parent's bedroom, or in the room next door - in this case, a radio or video baby monitor is needed. At the age of 4 months, the child can gradually wean himself without night feedings. Quite the contrary: sound, long sleep at this age is more beneficial for the baby’s health than waking up during the night and feeding. There are reliable studies showing that children who were completely denied night feedings at 4-5 months did not suffer at all from lack of weight.
• 3 By the year the baby is absolutely ready to “move” to a separate room - the nursery. At the same time, we repeat: during the day, the mother (or both parents) can lie down, doze, and simply be in the same bed with the baby as much as she wants. Only the nighttime co-sleeping of parents and children is subject to doubts and expediency - when the older generation really needs proper rest.

Ultimately the choice is yours!

As sensible and loving parents, you should know: throughout the world, among specialists in raising and raising children, there is no unanimous assessment of the phenomenon of co-sleeping between parents and children. Some believe that this trend is useful and pleasant for all its participants, others passionately argue that there are many more problems (both psychological and physical) in a family where co-sleeping is practiced. Among them: children in the future are afraid to be left alone, they are not independent, they experience fear and phobias, they often show selfish tendencies, etc.

Despite what opinions and trends exist in modern pediatrics, you are free to do as you see fit. But in any case, this choice should be determined by the desire of both parents, and not be a concession on the part of the parents in favor of the children.

If all family members are truly comfortable, comfortable and happy for the children to stay in their parents’ bed at night, then sleep well with the whole crowd! But if at least one family member (for example, dad) experiences discomfort, stress, or just a banal desire to sleep separately from the children, this fact should under no circumstances be ignored.

Being a mom and dad is hard work: painstaking, exhausting and daily. The only time and a space where parents have the opportunity to relax and recuperate - this is a night's sleep in their own bed, in which only the two of them are present. If parents who voluntarily deprive themselves of this right - to proper rest and sleep - sacrifice themselves (ostensibly for the sake of their children), they are quite likely not acting wisely...

Because children cannot grow up happy and calm in a family where at least one of the parents constantly lives with a feeling of discomfort. But if, we repeat, both parents sincerely experience true pleasure and delight from the fact that the child is constantly in their bed, then for this family, co-sleeping with children is likely not only pleasant, but also useful.

Hello dear readers and subscribers. The author of the blog, Irina Gavrilik, is with you again, and recently I have a new topic of conversation. The fact is that the other day I overheard a conversation between two young mothers. Just don’t rush to scold me right away. I honestly don't suffer from excessive curiosity. It was just that it happened at a bus stop, where two girls were so heatedly discussing sleeping together with a child that I was far from the only one who became an involuntary witness to their conversation.

It turns out that one of them was soon preparing to become a mother, and the other was already raising two small children and advised the first one, immediately after birth, to put the baby to sleep in a separate crib, explaining that it was much easier to get enough sleep on her own and it was safer for the baby.

I will say right away that I do not support separate sleeping, especially with a baby, and there are enough reasons for that. But I didn’t interfere in the girls’ conversation, but decided to write about it here on the blog. Therefore, read the article to the end and you will find out:

• what worries the baby
• How co-sleeping helps prevent sudden infant death syndrome
• all the benefits of sleeping in the same bed as your baby
• how to organize sleep so that the whole family is rested and joyful
• up to what age should you sleep together and how to properly wean your child from sleeping next to his mother
• dispel the myths, fears and dangers that you have heard from relatives and friends

And in conclusion, I will tell you how my husband and I, through trial and error, came to the conclusion that sleeping together with two children is not only correct, but also useful.

Every woman, already in interesting position, not least of all, mentally imagines the corner of your baby: a beautiful crib, decorated with a light, almost weightless canopy. Soft mattress a warm blanket and a lot of plush toys. Cute, isn't it? But is this what the baby needs?

Just think about it: you carried your child under your heart for 9 months. He listened to his knock, sucked his fist, felt your mood and emotions, played with the umbilical cord, swallowed amniotic fluid - he knew that his mother was always there.

And now comes the time of childbirth. But every woman experiences childbirth differently. Someone attended special courses and knows in advance how to behave correctly, how to breathe and follow the recommendations of the obstetrician. Someone screams and panics, and someone is taken to a caesarean section.

What about the child? He is also in pain and scared. He comes into this new world for him, so strange, alien and unfamiliar. He doesn’t understand where the warmth and coziness, comfort and tranquility have disappeared – where is his mother.

In the understanding of the baby, he and his mother are a single whole. The baby needs skin-to-skin contact, because the world for him consists of touches. It is important for him to know that you are always nearby, to hear a familiar voice, to feel your smell and taste of mother's milk. Then everything falls into place. The baby understands that he is not alone and is completely safe - he calms down, gradually gets used to it and gains confidence.

Why a child may not wake up

If you've ever listened to a sleeping baby, you've probably noticed that his breathing is uneven - as if he sometimes forgets to breathe. Experts confirm that during sleep, babies tend to have periods short stop breathing and heart rhythm disturbances - apnea. As a result, the child may simply suffocate if he is not woken up in time.

Syndrome sudden death Infants are not a disease and cannot be treated in any way. This is a diagnosis that is made when an absolutely healthy child dies in a dream, for absolutely no reason.

This phenomenon has not been thoroughly studied, and it is not possible to explain it, but it is known that children from birth have respiratory and cardiac problems. vascular system, although fully developed, is not adapted to new conditions. Simply put, during deep sleep children's body it just doesn’t know how to behave and may fail.

Most dangerous period from birth to 6 months. The fact is that a baby's sleep is very different from the sleep of an adult. Adults, falling asleep, can immediately fall into deep dream until the morning. While it is natural for children to fall asleep through a phase restless sleep, then plunge into deep sleep for a couple of hours and then remain in the stage of active or superficial sleep, often latching on to the chest, tossing and turning.

But due to the extreme stress that a baby experiences when left alone in a separate crib, the mechanism for waking up from sleep may be disrupted. As a result, the child often and for a long time goes into deep sleep, from where, without outside help may not come back.

It is enough to wake up the baby with a simple touch and his organs and systems will start working again.

Parents whose children sleep in a separate bed or even room often note that their child’s night’s sleep is sounder and longer than the sleep of children sleeping next to their mother.

And now, if someone asks: “What’s wrong with that?” - You know what to answer.

Back in 1992, a study was conducted. Completely healthy infant connected to sensors and put me to a separate bed for the night. Mom only picked him up to feed him and then put him back down again. During six hours of separate sleep, sensors recorded 53 cases of breathing disorders and heart rhythm disturbances. The next night the child slept with his mother - the sensors did not detect a single anomaly.

To be sure, the experiment was repeated. They put the child in a separate crib for several hours, and the child spent the rest of the night's sleep next to his mother. And again, during the time spent apart from the mother, the equipment detected 28 failures. And during the time we slept together, the indicators were ideal - no failures were recorded.

How to explain this?

The human heart generates the strongest electromagnetic field in the body. The energy created is felt within a radius of more than half a meter. Therefore, mother and baby feel each other’s presence. Their heartbeat synchronized, they move together from one level of sleep to another - from deep to superficial and back. This is how the child learns to breathe correctly, and the mother wakes up with the baby.

Sudden death syndrome is a problem of a civilized society and separate sleep. Because only the mother subconsciously knows what is best for her baby. She will hug and warm, cuddle and protect her child, but a separate, even the best crib will not.

Pros of co-sleeping

• The opportunity to get a good night's sleep. We figured out why a child’s healthy sleep largely depends on the mother’s presence. What about the mother herself? After all, she also needs proper rest. But just imagine, will you be able to get enough sleep if you have to get up 5-10 times a night, take the little one out of the cradle, feed it and try to put it back without waking him up? And so every night. How soon will such rest lead to you starting to throw yourself at others? And if the baby is sleeping next to you, you just need to take it out and give him the breast. You may not even wake up completely. And there is no need to be afraid that you will fall asleep while feeding and the baby will roll off your hands. And over time, you will gain confidence, choose a comfortable one and be able to completely relax and unwind.
• The lactation period increases. Have you noticed that while breastfeeding a woman often feels sleepy? This does not happen by accident. The fact is that the duration of the breastfeeding period depends on the level of a special hormone - prolactin. It is responsible for the production of breast milk and its content in the body grows while the mother sleeps - no matter day or night. And it drops sharply if you feed rarely or not at all at night. Plus, frequent night sucking is additional breast stimulation, which also increases milk volume. Therefore, the desire to lie down and sleep with your baby for at least an hour is not a sign of fatigue, but a natural need.
• Mental and physical development child. What is needed for full growth little man? Naturally good nutrition, mental development and strong nervous system. All this can provide a sufficient amount of “hind” milk, which begins to flow to the baby only after prolonged continuous sucking. It is rich in fats, which promotes weight gain, and high content polyunsaturated acids the key to the full development of the brain and nervous system. But sometimes the baby’s daily activity is constantly distracted by something from feeding - there are so many new, bright and unknown things around. But during sleep, he more than makes up for lost time, sucking on the breast for a long time. It is also known that a baby’s brain actively develops not only during the day, when he learns about the world around him, but also during sleep. And the physical closeness of the mother at night helps relieve daytime stress, relax and calm down. Personally, I have noticed more than once that if a child has had an emotionally intense day, then night feedings become noticeably more frequent.
• Frequent feedings, including at night, promote rapid contraction of the uterus and restoration of the body after childbirth. They also protect against pregnancy, since a nursing woman usually does not have menstruation for at least six months.

Let's dispel myths, fears and dangers

• Fear of crushing the child. This is excluded for two reasons. Firstly, with the birth of a baby, maternal sleep becomes incredibly sensitive and responsive to his condition. A woman is able to catch the slightest fuss of a baby, but at the same time, extraneous loud noise does not bother her at all. Secondly, all babies are snub-nosed from birth, thanks to which air access to the small nose will always be ensured, no matter how hard the mother presses the baby to the chest.
• Fear that the child will remain in the parent's bed for a long time. Co-sleeping- This is a natural childhood need, which, if satisfied, will go away with age. After about three years, children who have slept with their parents want to have their own corner and consider sleeping in their own bed a privilege of age. On the contrary, there are cases where children, whose parents taught them to sleep separately from infancy, grew up and began to ask to go to their parents’ bed.
• The child will deprive his parents intimate life. Some spouses are afraid to wake up their child; it is unusual for them to have another little person lying in bed with them. But here everything depends only on you. You can remember your youth, use your imagination and not limit yourself only to bed.

How to properly organize co-sleeping

Do you know what a co-sleeping situation sometimes looks like? Mom read a ton of children's literature, and most sources advocate co-sleeping - this is good and healthy. I ran through my friends and acquaintances - they also practice it, they say - it’s necessary and correct. And the mother decided that we would sleep together with the newborn. At the same time, she is afraid to sleep with the child, is constantly worried and nervous, does not get enough sleep and is angry. The child, feeling tension, behaves restlessly, does not sleep, screams and is capricious. Dad doesn’t understand what’s going on at all, because no one asked his opinion - he gets ready and goes to sleep on the sofa in the middle of the night. In the end, everyone is unhappy, but they continue to torment each other, because somewhere it is written that this is better and safer.

But understand! The essence of sleeping together is to unite and unite the family, to make it even stronger and more reliable, and not to divide everyone into rooms. Don't go to extremes. You shouldn't look at others. Consult with your husband, discuss the pros and cons and find a convenient solution specifically for your situation.

• Place your child to sleep on a flat, firm, clean surface. A water mattress or air mattress is too mobile - the baby will constantly roll around.
• Do not place your child on the edge of the bed to prevent him from rolling onto the floor. Better move the bed close to the wall. If there is a gap between the wall and the bed, it needs to be filled with something so that the baby does not stick an arm, leg or head there.
• You should not place the baby next to the father or older child. They don't feel the baby so keenly. However, it is noted that most fathers, after some time of co-sleeping, also become incredibly sensitive to the presence of the child.
• No soft pillow or fluffy blanket. Having buried his nose in them, the baby will not be able to breathe normally. And children under two years old should not sleep on a pillow at all.
• Do not dress or wrap your baby too tightly. He will take part of the heat from you. And if you overheat, prickly heat may appear; read more about what it is and how to deal with it.
• Avoid cosmetics and hygiene products with a strong aroma. It can interrupt the familiar maternal smell and irritate the baby's nose.
• It is better to use natural products to wash clothes.
• Ventilate and humidify the air in the room more often.
• Do not lie down next to your child if you are extremely tired, have drunk alcohol or have taken sedatives, as your sensitivity and self-control will be greatly dulled.
• It is also undesirable for the baby to sleep in the same room with smoking person, since statistics state that the risk of sudden death in a child in this setting increases.

And, if the width of your sleeping place does not allow you to freely settle down with your child, then you can purchase add-on cot(coslipper). It is attached closely to your bed and the child always sleeps nearby, even in his own bed.

How to move a child into your own bed

Teaching a child to sleep separately is not difficult - you need to act gradually, but confidently. And under no circumstances should you put pressure on the baby. It is clear to say when it is impossible to do this better - all children are different and each child is individual in his own way. But you will definitely understand that after 3-4 years the baby will begin to show independence, saying that he is already an adult and can do everything on his own. Then it's worth trying:

• Start with the second blanket. That is, the bed is still shared, but the baby has his own blanket.
• Together with your child, buy new bedding for a separate bed - it will be his only. Let him choose the color and pattern himself.
• It is better if at first it is not a separate room, but a bed next to yours. Let the child know that he is not being persecuted - he is simply growing up.
• Agree with your baby that he will sleep in his own bed during the day, fall asleep next to you at night, and then you will move him to a separate crib, if he doesn’t mind, of course.

The child must be explained why this is necessary. Children at this age know how to hear and listen - they understand everything. And, if the baby comes to you to sleep in the morning, then do not scold him. Just praise him for sleeping through the night on his own, like an adult - one praise is much better than ten reproaches.

My co-sleeping story

I, like many other young mothers, did not start co-sleeping right away. Before going to bed, I bathed our first child, Dominic, swaddled him (for those interested in swaddling methods, read here), fed him and put him in a separate crib. At night, as soon as the baby began to groan and fuss, my husband would take him out and bring him to me. I'll give the breast, Dominic will smack a little and fall asleep. The husband will take him in his arms, hold him in a column and carefully put him back in the crib. And so many times a night. A month later, my husband once said that he was already used to not getting enough sleep. But we consoled ourselves with the thought that sacrificing sleep for the sake of the child was right and proudly considered ourselves good parents.

One incident changed everything. I wake up my husband and ask him to put the baby in his crib. He jumped up, ran up to me and froze - I was sitting on the bed, folding my arms across my chest, as if I was feeding a baby, and Dominic was sleeping peacefully in his crib. My husband said that he woke up in an instant from fear that I had dropped the child. From the next night we all began to sleep together and never regretted it.

When Ivona was born to us, the issue of sleeping separately was not even considered. We all sleep together. The only thing, in order to make everyone more comfortable, we removed one side from the crib and moved it close to ours. Ivona sleeps there, an arm's length away from me. And he sleeps much more peacefully than Dominic slept in the first month. If they ask me how many times I feed during the night, I will answer that I don’t remember. It’s as if I emerge from a dream, give my breast to the baby and go back to sleep, while everyone gets enough sleep and feels great.

Co-sleeping is great. After all, the baby will inevitably grow up, become an adult and independent. Only wonderful memories will remain of those happy moments when you could caress him, and he, smiling, fell asleep sweetly in your arms.

I'll probably end on this happy note. And you, dear readers, I invite you to comments and groups in in social networks. Ask questions, get answers and share own experience sleep with your baby. Subscribe to updates - there is still a lot of interesting things ahead.

And safety! Our article is dedicated to security baby sleep. This is very important topic, which is so little covered in Russia.

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome

Death in a child's sleep in the first year of life is associated with sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). A perfectly healthy baby suddenly dies in his sleep. Most often, such cases are recorded during sleep, which is why this syndrome is called “death in the cradle.” Babies in the first year of life are most at risk of SIDS; the risk is especially high in babies in the second and third months of life. 90% of all cases occur in babies under 6 months.

However, SIDS is only part of the conditions that come under the term “Sudden Unexpected Death of Infants” (SUDI). A significant portion of cases of SUD are accidental asphyxia and suffocation in bed.

Organizing safe sleep for a newborn is the most important measure to reduce the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome

The unexpected death of a baby in a dream is a rare phenomenon in Russia only 43 cases per 100,000 children born were registered. However, attention should be paid to safe sleep management even if it saves the life of at least one child!

Sources of information about safe children's sleep

In Russia, unfortunately, a targeted unified campaign to inform parents has never been carried out; there is very little information in open sources. That is why we were forced to turn to foreign sources, in particular:

• American Academy of Pediatricians www.aap.org
• American Academy of Sleep Medicine sleepeducation.com
• American National Sleep Foundation www.sleepfoundation.org
• National Center for Sleep Research www.nhlbi.hih.gov
• Infant Sleep Information Source www.isisonline.org.uk
• Consumer Reports www.consumerreports.org
• Security Commission consumer goods www.cpsc.org
• American Institute of SDVS www.SIDS.com
• SIDS Alliance www.firstcandle.com

In the same room with parents

One of the first questions that parents look for an answer to even before the baby is born is where will he sleep? It is important to know that sleeping in the same room with your parents for at least 6 months is much more comfortable and safer! It is important to understand that sleeping in the same room as your baby reduces the risk of SIDS by 50%

You will be able to hear and react quickly if your baby cries, burps, or has trouble breathing. In Russia, almost 100% choose to sleep in the same room with their baby up to 1 year of age.

Is it dangerous to take a child into your bed?

Adults have been taking in children since time immemorial! This is as old as time! Since ancient times, children and parents slept together for warmth and comfort. But the term “putting a baby to sleep” has been known since ancient times. What does this mean? These are situations in which a mother, having put the baby to bed next to her, breastfeeding him, falls asleep and accidentally (unintentionally!) presses the baby’s nose and mouth with her breast or another part of the body, as a result of which the child cannot breathe. Preventing this situation was part of the task of zemstvo doctors Tsarist Russia, as well as young pediatricians Soviet Russia, from which propaganda posters remained.

Over the past 20 years, scientists have devoted a lot of time and effort to the question: Is it dangerous to take children into your bed? The issue of the safety of a child of the first year of life sleeping together in the same bed with parents or other people is a subject of active scientific research and controversies to date.

The research results are somewhat troubling. Today, there is extensive statistics of tragic cases associated with sleeping in a parent's bed. It has been proven that co-sleeping, even in the absence of smoking and the use of alcohol and drugs by parents, is a high risk of developing SUD in the infant.

However, not all researchers support this view, emphasizing the strong evidence that co-sleeping with a baby helps support breastfeeding. There is an opinion that the issue of the safety of co-sleeping with a child should be discussed carefully, taking into account the cultural level of the family and the personal beliefs of the parents. A clear position on this issue is presented only American Academy of Pediatrics, which prohibits co-sleeping due to high risk development of SUD, especially for children in the first three months of life, even in the absence of parental alcohol consumption and smoking. This position was supported by Canada, Australia and Oceania, and most countries in Europe and Asia.

The most the best solution It will be a good idea for you to ensure that your baby sleeps directly next to your bed. In a cradle, in a side crib or in a bed with sides, but not in your bed!

It will be easier for you to feed and soothe your baby, and you will sleep better, knowing that you have taken all possible measures to ensure that your baby is not in danger.

Safe sleep - Unsafe sleep

9 mistakes in organizing Safe Children's Sleep in the image above (right block):

• sleep in a separate room
• sleeping on your side
• head-to-bed position
• pillow
• two blankets
• cap
• the crib is by the window
• the crib is next to the radiator
• without a pacifier

If you have consciously chosen to Co-Sleep

If, no matter what you have chosen, you need to minimize the potential hazardous factors. Our recommendations will help you create a safe and comfortable environment and minimize the risk of trouble:

• Your bed should be absolutely safe for your baby. The mattress should be hard, even, the sheet should be stretched and secured. You should not sleep on soft feather beds or water mattresses.
• Use bed guards to prevent your baby from falling out of it.
• If your bed is pushed up against a wall or furniture, check every day for any gaps between the bed and the wall where a child could fall.
• The child should lie between the mother and the wall (not between the mother and father). Fathers, grandmothers, grandfathers do not have the maternal instinct, so they cannot feel the child. Often mothers wake up from the slightest movement of the baby.
• IMPORTANT! If you find that you only wake up when your baby is already crying loudly, then you should seriously consider moving your baby to your own crib.
• Use large mattresses to ensure there is enough space for everyone sleeping

• Do not sleep with your child if you have overweight, this may lead to dangerous situations. How to check how dangerous your weight is? If your baby rolls towards you because the mattress is too compressed under you and a depression is formed, then you should not practice SS
• Remove all pillows and the heavy blankets from your bed.
• Do not wear shirts and pajamas with ribbons and ties, and keep long hair away
• Remove all jewelry at night
• Do not use perfumes or creams with strong odors
• Don't let pets sleep in the same bed as your baby
• Never leave your baby alone in a large bed unless you are sure that he is completely safe.

Almost all modern pediatricians welcome co-sleeping with a child. The child needs constant contact with his mother. While still weak and vulnerable, the baby should feel protected.

He needs parental attention for proper neuropsychic development. However, moms have varying opinions about sleeping with their newborn.

Co-sleeping: pros and cons

Most likely, the correct position is somewhere in the middle: sleeping with a child is useful, but only up to a certain age. Of course, sleeping together should not go against the interests of other household members.

Arguments for"

1 Convenience of feeding. The baby will have to be put to the breast quite often at night. If the baby is in bed with his mother, night feedings will not bother anyone. In addition, co-sleeping significantly improves lactation. With a well-established feeding regimen at the correct interval (from 3 to 8 a.m.), the production of the hormone prolactin, which stimulates lactation, will be improved. Prolactin is also a natural contraceptive.

2 Healthy sleep moms. Many women say that they can feed their baby at night, literally half asleep. Indeed, when mom goes to the crib, the sleep phase is interrupted. The body needs to go through a new cycle to achieve deep sleep.

And harmonious sleep is what mothers of infants need most.

Without enough sleep, a woman not only experiences discomfort all day, but also risks dropping her baby. By the way, it can also occur due to poor quality sleep.

3 The child is not hypothermic. The baby also needs the natural warmth of the mother’s body from a physical point of view. When sleeping together, there is no need to wrap the child in a blanket, under which the baby may become too hot.

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4 A breathing rhythm is formed. The baby listens to the rhythmic inhalations and exhalations of the mother and repeats them on a subconscious level. This interesting feature- nothing more than the first breathing exercise child.

5 The baby cries less. A child may become restless in a dream due to various reasons: suffers from colic, the baby is cold or wet. An excellent way to “relieve stress” in such cases is mother’s breasts. Being next to the baby, a woman can react faster than the rest of the family members have time to wake up from the baby’s crying.

Arguments against"

1 There is a possibility of harm to the baby.

Infants are so fragile and delicate that it seems that any awkward movement can hurt them.

But nature itself comes to protect the baby. Mother's dream if she is not under the influence sleeping pills, incredibly sensitive. The woman wakes up from any movement of the baby. Therefore, it is simply impossible to run over a child in a dream.

2 Non-sterile environment. Well-washed bedding contains absolutely no germs that can harm the baby. The child does not need sterile conditions, because his immunity must develop and learn to fight any irritants. Of course, if one of the parents is sick viral diseases, you should not sleep next to your child.

3 Difficulties in the intimate life of parents. Many families, not unreasonably, believe that personal life and co-sleeping with a child are incompatible things. But the absence of lovemaking in the marital bed while the baby is in it can hardly be called a compelling argument against.

How to wean a child from sleeping with his mother?

Many children tend to strive for independence. Therefore, there are common cases when the baby goes to his crib on his own. What to do if this doesn't happen?

The physiological need to sleep together with the mother disappears in a child by about 1 year. But if you wish, you can transfer your baby to his own crib from 2-3 months.

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The main rule in weaning from co-sleeping is the sequence of actions. Weaning from the parent's bed should not be stressful for the baby.

1. At first, the child can sleep in a separate crib only during the day. Make sure he doesn't feel lonely: you can put a large soft toy nearby.
2. At night, the baby can be placed in a crib located close to the adult bed. In this regard, crib models with removable sides are very convenient - this allows you to combine sleeping places. If the baby tries to move closer to his mother, he should be moved back. When the child gets used to this distance, the side can be returned to its place.
3. Gradually the crib moves away. It is necessary to increase the distance from the sleeping place of adults very slowly. This method may take several months, but the results are usually positive.
4. To help your child fall asleep better, read your favorite fairy tales or poems to him at night. Be gentle with him: if the baby comes to you in the middle of the night, calmly transfer him to a separate crib. But under no circumstances scold your child.

Co-sleeping with a child is a real miracle. The main thing is to learn to feel the rhythm of sleep and control it. And sleeping with your baby will be the most pleasant experience for you.

Finally, mother and baby are home - back from the maternity hospital.
If the mother stayed in the RD with her child, then perhaps she was already familiar with co-sleeping.

A beautiful crib has been prepared for the child, but is it worth rushing to put the child in it?

Co-sleeping is basic need any child, having satisfied which the child easily and without difficulty moves into his own separate crib.

Let's start from the very beginning
Man is mammal, and baby mammals in nature sleep, huddled close to each other and to their mother. Their mother breastfeeds them until weaning, protects them, and warms them. The cub knows that as long as its mother is nearby, it is safe.
The cub cannot yet take care of itself, and if the mother is not around, he experiences fear and anxiety. The mother also has a feeling of concern for the baby, for his safety, for adequate nutrition.

Natural for humans, as well as for mammals, because that is how she created us nature.
If the need for shared sleep is not satisfied, then this causes anxiety in the baby and the mother.
Many mothers are not aware of their condition and suppress feelings of anxiety, which leads to degradation of the maternal instinct, but this does not change anything.

Example
The mother rocks the baby to sleep, puts him in the crib, but after a while an alarming cry is heard. The child woke up, found that his mother was not around, and burst into tears. And the motion sickness starts all over again. This can go on more than once. And so, the mother puts the child in her bed, next to her, and discovers that he fell asleep easier and became better sleep.
But in fact, the mother herself changed her behavior - she began to satisfy the natural need of her child - so that the mother would always be nearby.

Why does the baby need this?
A child, being next to his mother, feels her presence, her hugs, feels her warmth, smell, hears her breathing and the beat of her heart... All this is familiar to him even before birth - in the womb, and tells the baby that he is safe . The baby also receives the attention and love of his mother, which he really needs.

A peculiarity of children's sleep is that shallow sleep prevails over deep sleep, at this time the child sleeps very sensitively and feels whether his mother is near him or not.
Sleeping together helps reduce his anxiety, allows him to fall asleep faster and easier, as a result of which the child gets better sleep and his the nervous system develops fully. The baby wakes up only to eat or pee, and not out of fear of loneliness. Mothers usually notice that if the child sleeps with her in bed, then his sleep is much calmer and better.
Co-sleeping is essential for good relationship between mother and child, in future.
When you sleep together with your baby, his confidence to Mom, confidence in its reliability. The baby wakes up, feels his mother nearby and calms down that he is not alone.

Even during the day, it is better for a child to sleep in his parents’ bed. Young children have a very developed sense of smell and the child, feeling his mother’s scent, even though she is not sleeping nearby, gets a feeling of security.
In a dream, a child processes new information that he received during the day. If he sleeps with his mother, then he does not need to be distracted by “dangers”, and the process of understanding the world is more complete.

Thanks to co-sleeping baby grows calmer, there is less likelihood of various phobias, fears, neuroses and other similar problems. A baby sleeping with his mother feels that he is needed and loved. Such children have higher self-esteem and are more confident in themselves. These children are more friendly and positive towards others, they even develop better than children who sleep separately from their parents.

What does co-sleeping give to mom?
If the baby is nearby, the mother does not need to get up often, rock the baby, or check how he is doing in his crib. A mother who sleeps with her baby gets better sleep, good mood. If the baby wakes up at night to eat, the mother does not need to get out of bed... and rock him to sleep. Without getting out of bed, I gave the breast and continued to sleep. A well-fed baby next to his mother falls asleep easily and quickly.

When a mother senses the presence of a child, her body produces prolactin, a hormone responsible for milk production. Therefore, co-sleeping allows establish breast-feeding and keep it for a long time.

A mother sleeping with her child has a better sense of what the baby needs at the moment: if it’s cold and the baby is opening up, cover it up, or if it’s hot, open it up... Sleeping together helps awakening the maternal instinct, promotes the development of intuition, thanks to which the mother feels what the child needs at the moment.

When sleeping together with her baby, the mother is much more comfortable to a greater extent feels more like a mother than when a child sleeps in his crib.

If a mother goes to bed during the day with her baby, the baby will sleep longer and more calmly than usual.

When mom and baby sleep next to each other, their sleep cycles coincide, so she wakes up easily at night to feed the child or put him on the potty, and easily falls asleep with the baby. If mother and baby sleep together, then the mother can control the baby's sleep. If he suddenly gets worried, then she can immediately prevent awakening, hug the baby, press him to her, quietly hiss: “shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssbabies and childrenss babies (ssss babies and childrenss babies and childrenssssssssshes bone bones this...and in almost all cases.. And in almost all cases the child calms down and continues to sleep.
If the baby wakes up early, then the mother can take a nap for some time while the baby is busy important matters, for example, by studying your arms and legs.

If a mother goes to work early and does not have the opportunity to spend much time with her baby, then co-sleeping- just salvation.
It will help make up for the lack of communication and helps strengthen the bond between mother and child, maintaining affection for each other.

Opponents of co-sleeping with a child
1. For some reason, many parents are afraid that they might fall asleep soundly and accidentally crush the baby. This It is absolutely impossible with a mentally healthy and balanced mother. The fact is that every mother instinctively strives to protect her child even in her sleep. And sleeping separately suppresses this instinct.
But , if you really don’t trust yourself, there are options for this:
- a horseshoe pillow that can be used to protect a child;
- a crib with the side removed, moved close to the adult bed.

When sleeping together, if the dimensions of the bed allow, dad does not have to go to sleep on the sofa. He will feel comfortable sleeping next to you, on the edge of the bed.

2. It also happens that the husband opposes sleeping together, fearing for the marital relationship. But you can also have sex in another room, in the bath, in the kitchen... when the child is sleeping.

When should you move your baby into your own crib?
Here the situation is the same as with self-weaning in breastfeeding: or with potty training:
Everything has its time and everything is individual.

When the child is ready to sleep separately, he will let you know about it, then move him to his own crib or room.
This usually occurs around the age of 3 years.

Mothers complaining that they cannot move their child to a separate crib or room: either - these are mothers of children under 2-3 years old: at this age the child is not yet ready for separate sleep, or - these are mothers of children after 3 years of age: children who slept separately from birth, and as adults decided to compensate for the lack of co-sleeping in infancy.

A child who shows signs of being ready to sleep separately from his parents resists his crib.
A crib for a child is not just a place where you can sleep, but it is also his separate corner, his own personal space, which should not only please the child, but also in which the child will feel cozy and comfortable.
Therefore, before you buy a crib for your child, ask him what exactly HE wants! Maybe he has some special wishes and his own preferences. After all, he later sleepin her, not in you.
Go to the store with your child and give him the opportunity to choose his own crib, bed dress and bed linen.

Do not try to move your child into it on the first day of purchasing a crib. Let the resettlement happen gradually.
Before you begin the Great Migration, make sure you have established bedtime routine. Continue the same routine when you move your baby into your own crib or room.
Give your child time to get used to the crib:
- Play a scene with toys in front of your child: your child will see a teddy bear kissing his mother good night and wrapping himself in a blanket in his crib. Let the bear's mother sing him the same lullaby that you sing to your child.
Familiar things will help your child understand what will happen next..
- Play soothing, relaxing music for your child before bed, read a bedtime story or sing a lullaby.
- Place your child’s favorite toy in the crib: a teddy bear or a doll.Let the child sleep with this toy and hug it. This will help the child not feel lonely.

You do not have the opportunity to let your child choose his own crib and you were given someone else’s crib:
- Tell your child about the new crib in advance, showing, for example, his cousin's or sister's bed and saying that he will have his own too. Make him look forward to this relocation.
- Giveit’s time for the child to get used to the new crib from the outside, andin the crib while the bear sleeps.

You are forced to move your child away from you into a separate bed before he is mentally ready for this:
- If you are transferring a child from your bed to a separate bed to make room next to you for his future brother or sister, who is about to be born, then try to do this at least 2 months before the birth of the youngest baby.
- Do not start moving to bed when you are teaching your child to potty, use a spoon, or moving to new house. Children will not be able to cope with so many changes in life.

If you see that the child is not yet ready to move to another bed or room - wait, give him and yourself time to get ready.