Is it worth apologizing when it's not your fault? Should I ask my partner for forgiveness? Don't apologize to strangers

Often we apologize because we worry too much about what other people will think or because we care too much about their feelings at the expense of our own interests and needs. Believe me, there are many situations when there is no need to apologize profusely.

1. You should never apologize for loving someone.

Rejoice in the fact that you are capable of love. There are many people in the world who are too afraid to love and, out of fear, refuse such a chance. It doesn't matter who you love or whether your love is reciprocated. What matters is that you know how to love.

2. You should never apologize for saying no.

Respect for your own boundaries is, first of all, respect for yourself. If you are resolute in your refusal, then you have nothing to apologize for. The ability to say “no” is the hallmark of a true leader.

3. You should never apologize for being true to your dreams.

A life lived with regret can be considered purposeless. Never apologize for having a dream that you strive for and that dream makes you who you are. You will never know what happiness is if you passively dream your whole life and don’t live for that dream.

4. You should never apologize for taking time for yourself first.

You will not become successful and happy if you do not think about yourself first. Consider your own needs and wants and prioritize spending time on yourself by doing things that make you happy.

5. You should never apologize for your own priorities.

Never let anyone make you feel guilty about how you set your own priorities. If it's important to you, then it really is important. People who care about you will always respect your choice.

6. You should never apologize for ending a painful relationship.

You should never express regret about letting go of people who have caused you discomfort or pain. If you understand that the relationship has become painful and does not allow you to fully open up and realize your potential, then this is already a huge step forward. Surround yourself with people who support you in your determination.

7. You should never apologize for your imperfections.

Imperfections and flaws are what make you unique, special and lovable. Accept your flaws with love. Never apologize for not being perfect.

8. You should never apologize for taking a strong stand.

Never apologize when defending your values, morals, ethics, religious or spiritual beliefs. True leaders never ask for forgiveness for their thoughts and actions, which they consider to be the only correct ones.

9. You should never apologize for not knowing the answer.

The constant pursuit of knowledge trains our brain. Never apologize for not knowing something, and be grateful for the opportunity to gain new knowledge. The ability to admit one's ignorance is a sign of both strength and humility.

10. You should never apologize for having high expectations of anyone.

Never ask for forgiveness because you expect from others the same thing that you expect from yourself. Having high expectations for someone means that you care about them and want the best for them.

11. You should never apologize for spending money on yourself.

Never regret treating yourself to something special. When you buy yourself something nice, it increases your self-esteem. Happy and successful people know how important their own desires are for a fulfilling life.

12. You should never apologize for another person.

Everyone is responsible for their own actions and behavior. You don't need to apologize for what another person has done, even if you feel that their actions directly involve or affect you.

13. You should never apologize for the delay in your response.

Successful people understand that prioritizing sometimes means delaying responding to emails and phone calls. Never apologize for not being prompt in your response, giving priority to more pressing tasks and problems.

14. You should never apologize for telling the truth.

Strong people speak the truth. Don't apologize for being a strong person. Even if this truth is quite painful, it is still better to remain honest.

Be true to yourself and don't worry about what other people think. Excessively apologizing or expressing regret when it is not necessary will slowly and surely reduce your self-esteem. Save the word “sorry” for those times when you are truly wrong or have made a mistake.

And also...

You should never apologize for being a bad dancer.

Dancing is a pleasure, so drive away all embarrassment and awkwardness. Dance through life!

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Often we apologize out of concern for what others will think of us, or because we put their feelings before our needs. But there are many situations in our lives where an apology is not needed.

We'll tell you about 15 situations in which you don't need to apologize, even if you thought differently before.

No apologies for love

Be happy that you are able to love. There are many people in the world who are afraid to love another. And it doesn’t matter who you love, and whether your feelings are mutual. The fact that you can love is what matters.

No apologies for saying "no"

Respecting your boundaries is an indicator of self-respect. If you don't have the ability to give 100 percent to something, you should never apologize for it. The ability to say “no” is a sign of a good leader.

No apologies for the dream

Your life is yours and if you live with regret, it is your choice. Never apologize for following your dreams because that is what defines you. You can make your life truly fulfilling only by making your dreams come true, and not by living your life dreaming.

No apologies for taking time to yourself

It is possible to achieve a harmonious, happy, successful life by devoting time to yourself. Always take care of your needs and wants and take time for yourself to do things that bring you joy.

No apologies for what matters to you

Never allow yourself to feel guilty about what is important to you. Always take care to follow your prioritization. If it's important to you, then it's important. The people who really deserve to be in your life will accept your choice.

No apologies for ending a toxic relationship.

You shouldn't apologize for leaving someone who hurts you. Understanding that an unhealthy relationship is dragging you down and sapping your energy is the first step to success. Respect yourself, be in the company of those who help you become better and move forward.

No apologies for your imperfections

Imperfections are what make you beautiful and unique. And this is something that you need to accept as part of yourself. Never apologize for the qualities that make you imperfectly perfect.

No apology for your values

Never apologize for your values, moral views, religious affiliation, or spiritual beliefs. Leaders never apologize for what they believe.

No apologies for not knowing the answer

Learn all your life and you will never grow old. Never say you're sorry when you're dating someone you can learn from. Being able to admit that you may not know something is a sign of strength and humility.

No apologies for high expectations

Don't apologize for expecting others to do what you do yourself. Having high expectations just means that you care about others enough to expect the best from them.

No apologies for taking care of yourself.

Never apologize for taking care of yourself. By buying yourself something good, you increase your self-esteem. Happy and successful people know their needs and the importance of meeting them for a happy life.

No apologies for others

Everyone is responsible for their own behavior and actions. You don't need to apologize for others, even if you feel they might associate themselves with you.

No apologies for creativity

Never apologize for not knowing the dance moves, for example, or perhaps not dancing well or not getting into the rhythm - just dance! The joy of dancing is worth any embarrassment.

No apologies for the long response

Successful people understand that prioritization can sometimes affect how quickly emails and calls are answered. Never apologize for answering to what's more important first.

No apologies for the truth

Strong people speak the truth. Never apologize for your strength. Even if the truth is not always pleasant, the benefits of honesty are far more important than the temporary pain of the truth.

Be honest with yourself and don't worry about what others might think of you. Excessive guilt and inappropriate apologies reduce self-esteem. Only apologize when you actually made a mistake.

Do you think you say the word “sorry” a lot? You have an excessive feeling of guilt. Share your experience. We all learn from each other.

Stop apologizing for everything you do because it's ruining your life! What things do you never need to ask for forgiveness for again?

Crying in the cinema

How often have you started crying in a movie theater and your first reaction was to apologize and explain that you don't usually act like that and you don't understand why you're so sad. However, everyone has feelings, and a person is not responsible for when they manifest themselves.

Posting information about promotion on a social network

Lack of composure

Sometimes "sorry" is just a word that fills the void while you're checking your notes, looking for something, or finishing a message. And although it is quite possible to apologize in such a situation, it is much better to simply ask to wait.

Death

Death comes to everyone, and if murder is not on your schedule, then you definitely shouldn't apologize for the natural course of things in the world, since you are not responsible for the inevitable.

That you trusted your intuition

Sometimes you just feel like there's something wrong with a situation or a person, and you try to make it go away by apologizing. Not only is this not optional, it can also be dangerous if you are right and the person has bad intentions.

Skipping a workout to watch a TV series

Everyone has days when the bed wins the battle against the gym, and there's nothing wrong with that. Regular exercise allows you to stay in good physical and mental shape, so you simply shouldn't make skipping a new habit.

Mild criticism

There's no easy way to tell someone you don't like the way they do certain things, so many people start with "Sorry to tell you this, but...". The problem is this: no one will believe that you are sincerely apologizing.

Refusal to go on a date

If you open up about your feelings and ask someone out on a date, you're taking a serious risk, and everyone knows it. So if someone does this to you, you want to soften your refusal, so you apologize. But you are not obligated to give your attention or your time to anyone.

The fact that you told someone you were leaving

Breaking bad news to someone is always unpleasant, but you shouldn't feel guilty about it. Therefore, you should not apologize unless you are the cause of the bad news - then you need to sincerely ask for forgiveness.

That you had an accident

This point is more about statutory liability, and many lawyers agree that you shouldn't apologize if you're in an accident, even if you think you're at fault.

Singing your favorite song at karaoke

Are you not a professional singer and don't have a beautiful voice? Few people can boast of something like this. But that doesn't mean you can't have fun, so don't apologize.

Your child's behavior

Apologizing for your child's actions is the first thing every mother thinks about. However, if you apologize for someone, you are not doing them any good. Not only are you taking responsibility and showing your child that he can do whatever he wants, but you are missing out on the chance to teach him a lesson.

That you ordered one serving of each dessert

People have been taught to classify food as good and bad, but eating is not a moral choice, it is a means of survival. Ordering your favorite food doesn't make you a bad person, so it doesn't require an apology on your part.

That you came up with a great idea in a meeting

Naming one thing people should never apologize for would be a great idea. Unfortunately, if your idea goes against established norms or comes from someone outside of management, people are usually quick to apologize for speaking out.

Disease

If you are sick, whether it is a simple cold or a serious illness, then you do not enjoy it. Many people immediately rush to apologize for being sick, but illness is an uncontrollable element of life.

Question asked

“Excuse me, I have a question.” Why are you asking for forgiveness for having a question? Questions are very important to both the asker and the answerer, and are a great way to show that you are listening to the speaker.

Refusal to help everyone

Life is full of different events, and you may often be asked to do something. For most people, the first reaction is to immediately agree, but this will only bring you unhappiness. Don't apologize for wanting to take care of your own needs first.

What you told someone that they hurt you

If you look at the situation from the outside, you will understand that there is no point in asking for forgiveness for expressing how you feel. You can try not to offend someone who has offended you, but you should only care about your feelings.

The fact that you took a day off for no reason

Every person deserves a break from the daily routine. You are a human being, aren't you? So use your vacation days, even if you just want to be home alone.

Your relatives' toilet is clogged

Having a clogged toilet while visiting is one of the most unpleasant things that can happen to you. However, you cannot control bodily functions. So put your apologies aside and start looking for a plunger.

Love

Falling in love is both the best and the worst thing that can happen to you. And although it may make you feel many different ways, it should not make you want to apologize.

The fact that you went out for a walk to cool down during an argument

Arguments and fights can get very hot and fast, and sometimes the best thing you can do is take a break and go for a walk. But you don't have to apologize for it.

Not knowing the answer to a question

If every person knew the answers to everything, the world would be a much more beautiful place. But no one can know everything, moreover, often you may not know the answer to what is asked of you, and this is normal, you should not apologize for it.

Clarifying your order

You ordered a double cappuccino with soy milk and caramel and received caramel cider? There is nothing wrong with this, it can be easily fixed. And you don't have to apologize for a mistake someone else made.

Request for help

Can't reach the top shelf in the store? The ideal solution seems to be to ask the tall person standing next to you for help, but you are afraid that you will disturb him too much, so you immediately ask for forgiveness. But the fact is this: absolutely everyone needs help in this life at one point or another.

Dislike for children

Not everyone loves pink babies and furry puppies, and there's nothing wrong with that. No contract states an obligation to delight in every baby. So you shouldn't apologize right away.

That you are yourself

Do you have a collection of twenty thousand cat figurines? Do you only dress in superhero costumes? Do you like to sing opera songs in the shower? For the world to be what it is, it needs every type of person, and you don't have to apologize for who you are.

Absence from corporate events

About a third of the world's population is classified as introverted, which means these people need to be alone to relax and collect themselves. If you are one of these people, there is nothing wrong with not attending every event with your colleagues, and you don't need to apologize for it.

Today there are more and more people in the world who criticize others, and some people even spend most of their time criticizing the way others live. However, you should not pay attention to anyone... You are not obliged to explain to anyone what kind of lifestyle you lead, what and who you choose in life.

All that matters is the daily feeling that you are happy and loving life. If you live according to your truth, you don't have to be ashamed of it or apologize to anyone. Other people shouldn't dictate how you live your life, so never apologize for the following:

1. For your priorities.

That you want happiness for yourself is called a selfish, narcissistic idea. In fact, no one but yourself can make you happy. Filling yourself with happiness should become a priority in life.

If you have taken control of your life and do not expect anyone to teach you how to live, then you have already mastered important self-development skills. We are all 100% responsible for our lives, and only by putting our desires first can we become happy and help others. After all, how can we help others if, first of all, we do not help ourselves?

2. For following your dreams.

Wanting more from life does not make you ungrateful or spoiled. It makes you ambitious. This means that you have goals and dreams and you want to achieve them while you can. You don't settle for less than you are truly capable of. Others may see you as just a dreamer who will never find happiness, but in the end, it doesn't matter what others think.

You can simultaneously be grateful for what you've been given in life and at the same time strive for more, so it's not a bad idea to dream.

3. For choosing time for yourself.

In this fast-paced world, most of us spend so much time caring for others and meeting their needs that we forget about our own needs. However, if we do not fill our “cups of happiness,” then how can we fill others?

Taking care of ourselves and thinking about ourselves is not selfish, it is simply necessary for our health. You should never apologize for declining an invitation or turning someone down to take care of yourself. Whether you've booked a holiday at a 5-star hotel or taken a full day to the spa, you don't have to feel guilty.

4. For your choice of partner.

No one can decide for you who will be next to you today. No one but you can decide what kind of guys or girls you like, so there is no need to be ashamed of anything. Don't force anyone into your relationship. As long as you truly love and are ready to care for a person, no one has the right to judge your choice. We are all one, and love lives in each of us. If someone doesn't agree with how you live and who you date, then they simply don't belong in your life.

5. For expressing your sincere emotions.

Unfortunately, emotions have become a shameful thing in our time. We spend most of our time in society where we are expected to listen or obey, but not express emotions. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't express your emotions openly. Of course, you shouldn’t be publicly angry with your boss for not promoting you. But overall, you have to remember that we live in a society where it is not acceptable to express yourself. Yes, there is a time and place for every emotion, but you should never be ashamed of how you feel in the moment.

6. How you make money.

It doesn't matter whether you make billions or hundreds a year, as long as what you do brings you happiness. If a job allows you to support yourself and your family, although it is not considered highly paid or prestigious, and you like it, then never let anyone make you think otherwise.

7. For always being optimistic.

In a world where people constantly tell us to “hope for the best, but prepare for the worst,” it is difficult to remain optimistic. However, many scientists and researchers around the world recognize the benefits of positive thinking, including reduced stress, a longer life span, and the development of creative thinking.

Having a positive attitude during difficult times can do wonders and make us more resilient and better able to cope with problems.

8. For your past.

Some people are very fond of remembering the mistakes of others in the past. But while they criticize you and your life, you should know for sure that what you experienced is an experience from which you learned everything you need. At the end of life, we will only have our impressions and memories, so don’t let anyone take them away from you. We live and learn, and our past does not define us.

9. For what you eat.

People love to tell others how to eat healthy and what will make them feel better, but at the end of the day, it's up to you. Just as you shouldn't dictate how others eat, don't let people dictate your eating habits. Vegans criticize meat eaters and think that this is the most optimal diet for all people, but in fact, only you can decide what is right for you, not anyone else.

10. For challenging the “mainstream”.

Some people are very fond of finding fault with many aspects of other people's lives, so that the latter becomes ashamed of the way they live. You need to live in your truth, against what others say. Remember, if someone feels threatened by you, it means they are jealous of you. Sometimes people feel so uncomfortable and so unhappy with their lives that in order to feel better they need someone to talk about, someone to envy.

There is no need to apologize if you want your children to homeschool, eat food grown in your own garden, and want to teach your children by showing them real life, not what is shown on television. Everyone deserves to live a life that brings them happiness.

11. For your own opinion.

You can respect someone without considering the opinions of others. If you have your own opinion, do not hesitate to express it, even if it does not coincide with the majority opinion. The world will never change if we keep our opinions to ourselves because often the best ideas come from our views and perspective.

Good manners include the ability to ask for forgiveness and accept apologies. For example, having accidentally pushed or touched someone in public transport with his elbow, a well-mannered person will definitely say: “Sorry” or “I beg your pardon.” An equally polite “victim” will answer him: “Please.” Etiquette does not accept such apology acceptance phrases as “No big deal” and “Come on, no need to apologize.”

However, the word “Sorry” is not always used as a request to forgive a wrongdoing. It is customary, for example, to begin with an apology asking a random passer-by how to get to such and such a street: “Excuse me, please, can you tell me how to get to...?”

How to ask for forgiveness

When an apology has serious grounds, the rules for making it are more complicated.

Firstly, the person apologizing must understand well what he is asking for forgiveness for, be aware of his guilt, and want to atone for it.

Secondly, You must always apologize from the bottom of your heart, so that the offended person feels your remorse for what you have done and believes the sincerity of your words. In addition, when pronouncing an apology, it is necessary to look into the eyes of the interlocutor, and not to the side. It is better to use phrases like “Sorry, I was wrong,” although sometimes one sincere “Sorry” is enough. It is not recommended to use the phrase “Sorry, this won’t happen again” - no one in this life is immune from anything, so it’s better not to throw loud words. If a person does not believe that you are sorry for what happened, the relationship risks becoming even more tense after you try to apologize.

In order to choose the right words to admit your guilt, you need to mentally put yourself in the place of the offended person. Then you will be able to understand how much pain you caused him and what can atone for this suffering.

However, it is not necessary that the “victim” immediately forgive the offender after apologizing. Sometimes it takes time (most often 2 - 3 days) to compare the degree of a person’s guilt and the sincerity of his repentance. Much here depends on the depth of the offense and the character of the “victim.”

Sometimes, before saying words of repentance, it is necessary to prepare a person for this. If the offended person is dear and close to you, and the depth of guilt is colossal, first write him an SMS, a letter, or send a postcard with an apology. So he may not forgive you immediately, but he will begin to collect your attempts to make amends.

Etiquette allows you to supplement words of apology with gifts (Although some may regard this as an attempt to bribe). If a man apologizes to a woman, he can give her flowers in order to somehow compensate for the moral suffering caused to her. If a girl has committed a serious offense, she can also supplement her requests for forgiveness with some kind of gift.

Etiquette allows the apologetic person to offer possible ways to atone for his guilt. Moreover, it is better to voice various options, rather than torment the offended person with questions like: “Well, what should I do so that you forgive me?”

Those who are ready to forgive do not have to respond to an apology with words: you can simply smile at your interlocutor or extend your hand for a handshake.
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